Spider-Man 3

The garishness of the coarsest, er... grain. The longer the film goes on, the worse it gets, and the soap opera-like romantic plot is definitely one of the worst things poor Spider-Man has ever had to contend with. In the scenes where he's supposed to be evil and obsessive, Tobey Maguire shows that he's more good at overacting than acting, and Mary Jane's jealous exit is an ordeal. Yet Sandman would have been a decent villain if he had been given more space, as his birth scene is one of the best ever seen in a comic book movie. Seriously, no irony. Most of all, Spider-Man 3 looks like an attempt to make "something like Tim Burton's Batman Returns" that didn't work. (11/05/2015)

Average, sometimes incredibly bad and naive. Raimi wanted everything - depth and fun - and he came up with awkward CGI coloring pages with an unconvincing protagonist and such conspicuous clichés that they can't even be enjoyed. Visually, Spidey offers nothing new, and inside the film rumbles like an empty barrel, despite trying to look very wise and thoughtful. Taken as a whole, it doesn't hold together in any way, and Maguira's performance is truly the culmination... This was simple not very good. (07/11/2008)

By no means the dumbest film in the series (the previous ones were dumb too), just gaps between great action sequences so wide that no one can miss the idiocy... even an idiot. It's a giant laugh, this movie. The script is so retarded I'm surprised it was written and not drawn. Mary-Jane fires such salvos here ("How could you? This was OUR kiss!") that it can’t even be possible. The fact that the only thing the film perceives as purely negative is black alien matter speaks volumes, too. It's just that I'm not going to give a mediocre rating to a movie that, after a little work in the video editor, I could turn into a great five-star hour-long action flick starring J.K. Simmons and Bruce Campbell. And if Spider-Man hadn't run in front of the American flag in the third installment, I'd give one less star ;) (15/03/2011)

After the brilliant second film, Raimi a) joined a sect professing universal love and understanding, b) got on drugs, or c) just went crazy. How else are we to explain the emotional hyperboles in which Peter dances in the street in a perfect block, or receives the most poignant "life advice" from his aunt? Everything is so over the top that it simply CANNOT be taken seriously, and Raimi is simply fucking with the viewer for over two hours. I admit that it's really hard to absorb. On the other hand, the real problem I see is the underdeveloped characters, where in particular the villains lack proper motivation (otherwise Sandman and Venom are great) - in fact, absolutely everyone is lacking motivation. It's also unfortunate about some of the sloppy special effects in the action sequences, which look really bad in contrast to Sandman's perfect birth. All in all, it’s a rather uneven ride, but not at all boring, even though I found myself staring with my mouth wide open at times, and it wasn't just due to the action. Right now I’m giving it four stars, and I have to watch it again sometime so I can give it a proper review. (15/01/2009)

A triple portion of moralizing nonsense, tastelessly worn-out sentiment, and the fact that all good people will live a happy life, while all the bad ones will burn in hell. Sam Raimi must have had a fever during filming if he thought that this transparent, boring, and worn-out nonsense would satisfy the viewers who were expecting a golden peak after the original first film and its action-packed sequel. Instead of a peak, there is a tragic downfall, Spider-Man has become an idiot pointing finger-guns at passers-by, wearing a dreadful hairstyle, Mary Jane throws wisdom around like a shaman of an ancient African tribe in her twenties, and Harry Osborne sees his deceased father in the mirror. Some of the supporting roles may have been decent, but the rest is an annoying, dull, and visually repulsive (incredibly obvious presence of computers) ride where the beginning fizzles out of your head before you even see the end. (02/10/2007)