Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

I hate people. I’d like to help the Decepticons destroy that gang of worms that call themselves human kind. Movie theaters always used to be a place to escape from niggling reality, an oasis of peace and quiet where nobody spoke and let themselves be carried off to fantastic places with the help of a projector and a silver screen. But to conclude, so we can get on to the movie. If I meet that jerk who was spitting in my hair and talking about what was going to happen in the next scene once again, I’ll rip out his eyes and tongue. But, let’s get to the important things. Revenge is a full-blooded action popcorn movie which is slightly brought down by the unnecessarily intricate mythology (which is full of holes anyway). It would have helped if it had been a little briefer. In any case, the action is excellent and mainly it’s less confused that in the first part. The fight in the forest is unbeatable. The finale is nice and completely over the top with loads of robots, where the only downside it that the movie pays too little attention to them. Bay simply wanted to do everything at once, but it wasn’t really worth it (well, in money terms it was actually worth it, but I didn’t mean that). It’s still effective, but it isn’t how it should be. As for the actors, Shia is cool, his character is split between two images of Sam - a poor student with typical problems and a veteran who has some experience behind him - and he pulled it off with flying colors. Moreover, both he and John Turturro were the only ones with really good snappy lines and their scenes together are the best parts of the movie (apart from the FIGHTS). And Megan Fox is foxier than ever. I just hope that in part three they manage to balance the ingredients so that it could rock like it did before. P.S.: Optimus is awesome. (23/07/2009)

Bay likes to escalate. This means that the second film is bigger, more explosive, more infantile, stupider, more lobotomized... maybe a little funnier. Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman used most of their intelligent ideas in the Star Trek prequel script, so in this Hasbro mishmash they have no choice but to dilute the really demented plot with decent gags and self-parodying one-liners. Which is nice - otherwise Revenge of the Tinsmiths would seem really unbearable to me. Even so, watching two and a half hours of destruction, confusing action and rushing concrete mixers is a solid impact on the nervous system. Especially because, compared to the first film, it's no longer ballbusting - it's hackneyed. The moment of surprise is there, so we get Emmerich's recipe "if you don't know what to do, blow up as much of the world's ropes as possible". At the end, the divine Michael Bay prepared his much-loved pathos in a raw state for me, for which I thank him and send him a tin kiss. I know that Michael Bay lovers will be drooling with happiness, but for a viewer, who, in addition to a ton of steel armor, also likes a little bit of thought put into things, this year's blockbuster is Star Trek. And that won’t change no matter what Michael Bay does. (19/06/2009)

I enjoyed the second Transformers mostly as much as the first one. Again, you have to take the film with a grain of salt, but within the action genre, it is a job well done, although it is true, as others have said, that there is so much action in places that it is all a bit cluttered. I liked the fact that this time the action doesn't just take place in the city, but also largely in the desert, which, as a film location, has its own particular charm. In this case, the creators did not limit themselves to pure action and served us a number of funny scenes, which were mainly provided by Sam's parents (especially his mother), the robot twins and robo-kmet. The romantic line was pretty much forced this time, but thankfully there wasn't too much of it. In addition to these storylines, I was also intrigued that they uncovered the Transformers mythology. In the end, it's a weaker but still four stars – if I'd seen the film in the cinema back then, it would have been a clean four, I'm sure. (27/06/2019)

100% concentrate of one artist. From another director, I would love it, but this Bay… and I can only take him dissolved. Everything bangs, everyone is gorgeous, everyone is American… and then the humour, the humour!!! Horny dogs, a stoned mum, moron robot twins… Two stars for the special effects, otherwise it’s rubbish. (15/08/2011)

Michael Bay has transformed himself into his own genre, where he has made his own rules that physics, logic, and even Spielberg himself cannot affect. On the other hand, no one else has such perfectly stitched visuals with slow-motion shots of the characters' hellishly serious faces, military formations, and the setting sun with heroic music blaring. It’s off the rails, without a drop of judgment and a sense of calm. And with the overblown runtime, it hits the viewer with the vigor of a little cheeky brat whose rich parents bought him a lot of toys from Hasbro and he doesn't know what to do with them out of mischief. So there are explosions everywhere and in between all this we have Shia and Megan, who just happen to look good again. I admit that I have probably never felt so awkward after leaving the movie theater for having actually liked this. But I don't want to see it a second time, not without the assistance of the big screen. PS: Even after a second viewing, it's still surprisingly entertaining. In a perversely demented way, but it's fun. :) (23/06/2009)