Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

I hate people. I’d like to help the Decepticons destroy that gang of worms that call themselves human kind. Movie theaters always used to be a place to escape from niggling reality, an oasis of peace and quiet where nobody spoke and let themselves be carried off to fantastic places with the help of a projector and a silver screen. But to conclude, so we can get on to the movie. If I meet that jerk who was spitting in my hair and talking about what was going to happen in the next scene once again, I’ll rip out his eyes and tongue. But, let’s get to the important things. Revenge is a full-blooded action popcorn movie which is slightly brought down by the unnecessarily intricate mythology (which is full of holes anyway). It would have helped if it had been a little briefer. In any case, the action is excellent and mainly it’s less confused that in the first part. The fight in the forest is unbeatable. The finale is nice and completely over the top with loads of robots, where the only downside it that the movie pays too little attention to them. Bay simply wanted to do everything at once, but it wasn’t really worth it (well, in money terms it was actually worth it, but I didn’t mean that). It’s still effective, but it isn’t how it should be. As for the actors, Shia is cool, his character is split between two images of Sam - a poor student with typical problems and a veteran who has some experience behind him - and he pulled it off with flying colors. Moreover, both he and John Turturro were the only ones with really good snappy lines and their scenes together are the best parts of the movie (apart from the FIGHTS). And Megan Fox is foxier than ever. I just hope that in part three they manage to balance the ingredients so that it could rock like it did before. P.S.: Optimus is awesome. (23/07/2009)

100% concentrate of one artist. From another director, I would love it, but this Bay… and I can only take him dissolved. Everything bangs, everyone is gorgeous, everyone is American… and then the humour, the humour!!! Horny dogs, a stoned mum, moron robot twins… Two stars for the special effects, otherwise it’s rubbish. (15/08/2011)

I would deserve a slap for expressing everywhere that the other Transformers cannot be great. Because they, in fact, once again gave me a sense of absolute happiness that cinema has given us blockbusters. The revenge of the defeated may not rewrite history and will never be anything other than a thrilling ride, which surpasses the story with its visuals (even though it is irresistibly fairy-tale-like). Those who were so captivated by the adventure of the boy and his protector are suddenly disappointed when Bay's vision brings something even more magnificent. Not me, I bow before the story of the same boy, who, however, has much more to do this time. Enthusiasm, wide-eyed and touched by how intoxicating a film can be. I go to the cinema because of this, and I'm sorry that the series never reached this peak again. (27/06/2009)

This series has never grown on me since the first installment. However, I have seen all three of them. I watched the first one out of interest, the third one because my brother wanted to go to the movies after years, and they happened to be showing it, which could have looked cool in the cinema. As for the second one, I watched it to fill the gaps between the first and the third film. It's not worth it. Michael Bay just confirmed that he's a freak for technology, and that's the only conclusion the film brings. The robots may look cool, the effects are actually good, but the story disappeared somewhere with the jokes that are inserted into the main character's mouth. Shia LaBeouf should be the catchy cool guy who carries the whole film, but he's just a clumsy person who got his hands on super toys that he loves. "Transformers" are actually like adult "Toy Story", but with the difference that this is pure masturbation over super awesome technology, grand action, and completely dumb story. And Megan Fox? I definitely won't be one of those who daily search the internet for her new photo where she shows at least 20% of her left nipple. If Megan is compared to Angelina, someone has made a big mistake because Angelina, as far as I know, can act excellently when she wants to. Megan just has a pretty face. As soon as she left - in the third film, she had to be replaced by a model who didn't play any role - I immediately gave the film 10% more. And I wasn't the only one. But the second one is simply a travesty. Summer blockbusters like this should be banned. More: http://www.filmovy-denik.cz/2012/06/nebezpecne-znamosti-jak-ztratit-kluka.html (21/02/2013)

Michael Bay has transformed himself into his own genre, where he has made his own rules that physics, logic, and even Spielberg himself cannot affect. On the other hand, no one else has such perfectly stitched visuals with slow-motion shots of the characters' hellishly serious faces, military formations, and the setting sun with heroic music blaring. It’s off the rails, without a drop of judgment and a sense of calm. And with the overblown runtime, it hits the viewer with the vigor of a little cheeky brat whose rich parents bought him a lot of toys from Hasbro and he doesn't know what to do with them out of mischief. So there are explosions everywhere and in between all this we have Shia and Megan, who just happen to look good again. I admit that I have probably never felt so awkward after leaving the movie theater for having actually liked this. But I don't want to see it a second time, not without the assistance of the big screen. PS: Even after a second viewing, it's still surprisingly entertaining. In a perversely demented way, but it's fun. :) (23/06/2009)