Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

It's as if someone has fixed your once-upon-a-time favorite theme park attraction for the fourth time. You’ll be entertained by old friends, at times you will be delighted by new ones, your eye will get tired of the effects, your ear will endure the moments when someone speaks and somehow you will partly laugh through it, and partly suffer through it to the end. The most significant feeling it will leave in you after you get out is that you were quite bored. PS: Half a day after watching it, all I remember is the raucous music, the perpetually drunk Depp, and Penelope’s cleavage. An elegant quarter-billion-dollar experience. (20/09/2011)

This didn’t seem any better or worse than the original pirate trilogy movies. I miss Keira, as well as those really expansive and bombastic shots, but this one is more about running through the jungle and Depp’s snappy lines. It’s true that the sequence where they try to capture the mermaids was definitely the best moment, a superb atmosphere and unexpected outcome. Blackbeard is a strange and unexceptional baddie. But this isn’t Ian McShane’s fault, but the script’s because he is exploited too little and if it wasn’t for Barbossa there would be very little happening on the villain storyline front. Otherwise, the 3D is rather low standard (the most shocking moment was the trailer for Transformers 3 before the main feature) and it is obvious that Marshall doesn’t really know how to use it. But Judy Dench’s cameo was nice. (08/06/2011)

Almost a week since the screening, I'm downgrading it to two stars. A two-hour recycling of ideas is how I would describe the fourth Pirates. I love the first Pirates movie, I love the second one, and I admire the third one for being SO huge and full of all the amazing things to look at (besides the pathos) ... But what to make of the latest sequel? My biggest regret is that there's almost nothing in the film that I haven't seen in the previous ones. Sparrow's escape in London is reminiscent of the Curse of the Black Pearl, and we’ve also already seen the sword-fight between the "two Jacks", Captain Blackbeard's ship with its "zombified" crew seems belong to Davy Jones' ship, "the race" to get certain artifacts is also too similar to the unwinnable battle for Jones's heart from Dead Man's Chest, the (funny) escape with palm trees reminded me of the escape from the island of man-eaters... And I could go on. The major problem is simply the unimaginative, unfunny script. It also offers a bland storyline with a young priest (of course he has to be sexy), a bland Penelope Cruz and completely useless cameos by Keith Richards or Judi Dench, and it is full of stupidities (balancing on a shipwreck) and is unbelievably boring during the passage on Blackbeard's ship. Verbinski's idea-packed direction is just noticeably absent here. The film is saved by the actors (the scenes with Johnny Depp, Kevin McNally and Geoffrey Rush are the best of all, and it's a pity there are so few of them; Ian McShane is also good), Zimmer's fresh-sounding music, the really great scene with the mermaids and the breaking off of the stalactite tip... But there is not much else to write home about. I would say that this one will be more enjoyed by people who haven't had the pleasure of seeing the previous films. I didn't have much fun, and that's a shame. (19/05/2011)

Ten minutes before the end of On Stranger Tides, I remembered that I was wearing 3D glasses and that the film was (probably) in 3D (it was an IMAX projection). And the only thing I will remember from this a month later is the mermaid scene. The rest is just fluff, exploiting the success of the franchise, the actors and Hans Zimmer’s music. I’m only giving it three stars because the film is playful and harmless. In terms of viewer experience, though, it deserves only two stars because it’s boring. How come so many makers of B-movies know how to come up with innovative and refreshing ideas, and the Hollywood elite behind this doesn’t? (19/05/2011)

The first part of the Pirates series that managed without pathos. Liberated from the original trilogy, the fourth part offers a new adventure, new stories, new locations, and thanks to Penélope Cruz, it's finally a feast for the eyes (and ears, because she uses her Spanish accent). The previous films were just effectively assembled grand images, whereas this was finally a pleasant and entertaining spectacle. (20/11/2022)