Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

I'm leaning towards 3 stars only because I expected much worse. I enjoyed Depp, who in this fictional world has definitely pissed off the whole ocean and next time he might piss off even the feisty monkey, I enjoyed the action of the first half and some really great ideas (the guillotine scene is awesome), and I enjoyed the fact that the fifth instalment of Pirates has fun at the expense of the fifth instalment of Fast and Furious, but the last fifty minutes reflect pretty much everything I hate about this kind of fantasy. With the help of a talisman and a chosen girl, we can find a more powerful talisman that can do everything that can't be done – or how to make a more boring and spastic version of Moana with a hundred times the budget. The direction is more than solid, the actors are better than good, but the script should be cursed and put on the Flying Dutchman. This franchise is thematically over, though it still manages to surprise in individual ways. 55% (24/05/2017)

The Pirates of the Caribbean films were never clever but they were funny, entertaining, and catchy. In my opinion, with the fifth film of the series, they reached a stage of rotting where it hardly affects me anymore. The film doesn't even offend me and just evokes indifference and boredom. Perhaps I'm slightly concerned about the IQ of the target audience. If this kind of silly infantile entertainment can justify its existence and fill up cash registers, society is not heading toward a brighter future... Overall impression: 20% for the set design and special effects. (25/02/2022)

The production design and the effects are great, as only Bruckheimer's bottomless wallet can do, but the fifth encounter with Jack Sparrow is like meeting a drunk who tells you funny stories and you don't want to listen to him anymore because he's annoying. He just drunkenly drones on and on and on and you get tired of it :o) (29/09/2017)

After so many times, the characters have lost some of their zest and are no longer than interesting. Barbossa is still scowling, Sparrow is still doing the same crap, and maybe only one or two scenes are really funny. And to make sure it's not just sterile grey and a variation on the same scripted tripe a hundred times over, new faces and new plot pieces are added to the puzzle. The creators have certainly made a very bold effort to move forward, and the phenomenal stunts this time are well complemented by a fast pace and very clear action. It's not nearly as pompous and bombastic as the madcap previous two episodes, but it's still, not and probably never will be as balanced and inventive as the first one was. The pirates are dead and stale stuff even if Depp was walking on his head. (08/06/2017)

It's better than the previous film, but not by much. The gratifying difference is mainly that this time the creators really tried to come up with interesting and unique ideas, but unfortunately, they forgot about the story. They almost completely forgot about it. On the one hand, there is a great guillotine scene in the fifth Pirates, which feels like it came from Gore Verbinski's mind, a fine finale on an anchor and a few irresistible black-humor scenes (being elected captain, for example). On the other hand, there is also a lot of overly simple humor (tacky double-meanings as if from contemporary domestic comedies), which is unnecessarily predictable (you always know that a joke is coming), a couple of all-too-surprising twists for which I would most like to stretch someone on the rack, and for most of the film, Jack Sparrow's “humor" is supposed to consist of him being drunk like a dog, and therefore he behaves even stranger than normally. I liked Javier Bardem's villain, the central couple not so much... Geoffrey Rush didn't get much space, but he did his best. The music was desperately inconspicuous. (26/05/2017)