G.I. Joe: Retaliation

The insight, wit and swing of Sommers' first film is there, and yet the sequel to G.I. Joe even tries to take itself seriously at times, which can't end well. Anyway, it's not that bad thanks to the action scenes (especially the one in the mountains, which is the only one that matches anything from the first film) and Jonathan Pryce. Dwayne Johnson apparently had a nice fight with Ray Stevenson, but we didn't see much of the fight because of the confused camera, Bruce Willis was a mere ornament and didn't do much, and the return and recasting of one character annoyed me... But it wasn't all bad. (24/09/2014)

The first G. I. Joe movie was idiotic, but there was some brutal, out-of-this-world action. After all, that’s exactly why I’ve enjoyed it. The sequel is only idiotic and it’s really hard to rate an idiotic movie. Actually, the only plus were Channing and Dwayne. But those two are drifting through fates so stupid that the movie would be impossible to understand even if the action scenes were amazing. And it’s not like I’d watch it ten times over, once is more than enough. This was probably the worst story I’ve ever seen in a movie. (23/04/2014)

An aggressively moronic visit to a toy store, where even we the childless get a taste of what it must be like to take our five-year-old to an overly colorful complex, who starts unerringly flitting around the racks of the most expensive artillery and gushing "I wanna be Stowm Shadow, he's gonna to dwess up like Snake Eyes to fwee Cobwa Commandew, and he's gonna help him cause he's got exploding balls, but Woadblock gets in the way. "I don’t want Duke, he’s dead." Whereupon you agree, and in an effort to shut up the result of your youthful indiscretion for at least half an hour you walk up to the cash register with two figurines that still show the blood stains of Chinese children, the clerk smirks at you and says "150 bucks, fucker" and you realize that for the rest of the month you will only be feeding on your own sweat. While Treehorn handles subjects like women, the makers of G.I. Joe: Retaliation are beyond giving the characters names, for example (no one in the film has a civilian name), and they define characters practically only by the caliber of the gun they shoot, or whether they do more kicking or punching. In comparison, the scenes are completely WTF where we learn about the family backgrounds of the plastic figures and are made to mourn their loss, even though we can always buy new ones. Fortunately, Retaliation fills out the formula of a total action movie quite successfully, where we don't have to wait more than 8 minutes as a rule for the next eye-candy shot or explosive shootout, with action somehow reminiscent of the better trailers for contemporary video games in its over-the-top, materialistic clarity and unusually long takes for action sequences. (12/08/2013)

This movie’s biggest attraction is a rope flying among rocks. It looks really cool in 3D. There are also a few good ideas in the action scenes (entry into the site on a motorcycle), and the spectacular beginning of the ninja fight in the monastery (the blowing wind is atmospherically more effective than music). The humor, however, falls flat (even the kind that uses Bruce Willis’s presence) and the plot with another freak who is trying to rule the world isn’t worth mentioning. The target audience of teenage gamers, who don’t need anything more, will be satisfied, though. The rest of us will wait for Fast & Furious 6. (28/03/2013)

It's a silly movie, but technically very daring, and some ideas are truly interesting. The scene on the rock, for example, is excellently filmed. Otherwise, it's a standard thing in all aspects. Technically solid, with lots of gadgets and gimmicks, which is exactly what was expected and the reason why this nonsense deserves at least two stars, because in terms of storytelling and plot, it's almost impossible to rate. (07/04/2013)