Escape Plan

The script is just stupid enough. I'm simply fascinated by the studio's policy of bringing these over-serving tandems on set under the baton of directorial routinists who operate with the given material more than casually and can only make it work in a few catchy lines and, regarding this film, a unique religious Germanic outburst. Otherwise, it’s essentially a very sterile and fleeting spectacle. (15/08/2014)

Futuretro and Sly who makes a lightbulb out of a bungee cord and even uses it to escape prison. Those were the first two feelings I had when I watched this movie. Truth be told, it wasn’t what I’d imagined. Especially the realism was completely off and I’d compare it to Demolition Man, only with one big difference; the lack of one-liners. Sly and Arnold are just acting tough rather than creating some sort of a laid-back atmosphere and emotions. And that’s basically the whole movie. The topic is really interesting when it comes to two action legends, but the director’s take was far too systematic. I didn’t really feel any heart in that. It doesn’t have one-liners, nothing that could elevate such a great idea to a level that could be called legendary. A shame. (10/03/2015)

"You don't look that smart..." Indeed. It is a pity that the script realizes this only after it realizes that two wooden clubs will not produce an intellectual spark. A few of the situations are amusing, Arnie's religious Germanic frenzy is magical, but otherwise it’s a handful of poorly written and dully filmed situations that try to look smart here, dramatic there, but they rather flow by harmlessly (and arouse legitimate smiles). I have a feeling that a similar happening will work at high speed only on a wave of irony and playfulness. And the creators forgot to lock them up in the same prison. I don't know if I dreamed of meeting Sly and Arnie, but since I'm a fan of both, I would justifiably expect some greater emotion than the embarrassed smile on my face when Sly punched Arnie. It's gone. Oh well. [55%] (11/10/2013)

"Say cheese!" I wanted to see these two gentlemen in a movie. But in a good movie, which Escape Plan unfortunately is not. Someone else playing the central duo would have been even worse, and by a lot. Stallone and Schwarzenegger get all the plus points - their friendship and the fun they had acting here is so obvious that one can't help but be pleased. Moreover, when they poke each other irresistibly now and then (with words and fists). But the rest of it... I know that it was not supposed to be a profound experience, but still, in the place where common sense resides, one's head is full of questions like "Damn, such a super-modern prison, with such old-fashioned solitary confinement cells, with a shaft and a ladder underneath?!?!?!" and "Were all those guards really that stupid that they allowed... and that they didn't notice that... and that they didn't care how..." etc. All of this brought the film down terribly and hurt it especially in the sense that when the finale (finally) broke out, I didn't have any concern whatsoever about any of the characters. I just stared blankly, chuckling now and then, waiting for some big moment (yes, Arnold and the machine gun). And then it was over and I went home from the movie theatre. At the same time, I was thinking that I probably should have watched Stallone's Lock Up, which Escape Plan is not nearly as good as. That’s too bad. Escape Plan shouldn't have pretended to try to be anything - that way it would have worked out better. (22/10/2013)

A surprisingly out-of-breath Prison Break that even the usually reliable Mikael Håfström had no chance of saving. Apart from an original introduction, well-aimed jokes, and a few minutes of Arnold Schwarzenegger's five minutes of glory in the finale, the plot, twists, and actual escape only work with the viewer's well wishes and goodwill for the nostalgic mood. It is completely saved from an average rating by the fact that I was genuinely looking forward to the main duo – the unlimited Expendables limit – and Sylvester Stallone's bass voice, capable of pleasantly looking down on everything with the slightest hint of irony. From my initial smile, however, only a small cramp remains. (12/08/2014)