Alien: Covenant

A film where someone alternately screams hysterically in confusing scenes and alternately philosophizes about the issues of the space game show quiz in far too clear shots. Everyone behaves so erratically that the Prometheus crew reminds of professors of logic on a trip to the land of the eight-way. After a totally WTF birth scene, I decided that Alien had just died for me. One star for Franco's compression without having to utter a bare sentence on board. That is the right decision. The only one. (15/05/2017)

Enjoyable shit!! Covenant has a slightly longer run-up than I would have liked and the opening isn't very engaging, but anyway, the 15-strong crew makes it clear from the start that the horror viewer is not going to be short of a high body-count, and it isn't. As soon as the crew sets off to visit a new planet, a densely atmospheric, juicily brutal (finally a decent use of the R-rating), visually arresting and at times goosebump-inducing inferno begins, and it doesn't let up until the climactic finale, which lasts around half an hour and meets the strictest criteria of a true horror fan. Michael Fassbender and Katherine Waterston are absolutely amazing, the white xenomorph is one of the most attractive creatures I've ever had the opportunity to see on screen, Baby Alien and the unexpected final denouement are also satisfying. Overall, it's got decent balls especially when the Alien is rampaging on screen. If it wasn't for the slower opening, I'd go for the full score. Nerds and nitpickers will probably grumble, others might be satisfied. Interesting fact: one old man was so turned on to the alien that he had to see it even at the cost of not being able to walk. Apparently, he wanted a repeat of the theatrical opening like 38 years ago. Story 8/10, Atmosphere 9/10, Gore 8/10, Visuals 10/10, Action 8/10, Suspense 8/10,Humor 2/10. Entertainment 8/10, Scares 3/10. 85%. (15/05/2017)

It’s worse than Prometheus and the least interesting film in the entire saga. While the much-criticized Prometheus somehow matures into a better experience with repeated viewings, Covenant is an overripe and completely squeezed lemon. The mythology built around the most famous space killer is not interesting and the result is like a mediocre movie by a mediocre director, which takes place half of the time at night, in darkness, in dim light (Prometheus was much, much more visually engaging and colourful in this respect) and you won’t find any sign of Scott’s visual bravado. The crown is put on by the WTF mutual welcoming of the android and the newly hatched alien, which is like a cut from a Zucker brothers parody. What was that, dear producers? Please let Alien be a milestone in film history where it belongs and don't milk it like a cash cow, the poor thing is already barely hanging on. (23/05/2017)

Let’s not get stuck in the past. A classic will live forever, in “lonely perfection” as David would call its place in history. And now, after thirty years, it’s time to try a new take on the premise – simple but effective, fun at the level of a contemporary, not that of groundbreaking films in the sci-fi genre. I enjoyed Alien: Covenant because it’s a hardcore sci-fi horror flick with fantastic esthetics, breathtaking locations and music that (finally) references the atmospheric scores by Jerry Goldsmith and James Horner. I enjoyed the escalating thrilling scenes (the first scene showing the return to Lander that takes as much as ten minutes ranks among the best in the whole series), and the nicely designed situations in which characters are killed off in accordance with the genre rules. Before the characters get out of one mess, the viewer already knows about another that will make everything even worse for them. Not to mention the healthy dose of blood and brutality. SPOILER ALERT: The script explains the origin of Giger’s creatures and I find this self-destructive notion that the ultimate evil is created by an android created by man rather compelling. Thematically, this is another version of Cameron’s Skynet. The android confrontation gives the Alien universe an interesting new dimension. And the pessimistic ending offers great possibilities for further development in future installments. I look forward to those! (16/05/2017)

Ridley Scott is going crazy in his old age and so he’s trying to squeeze as much as possible out of his child – the Alien. Because I don’t really get the new Alien trilogy starting with Prometheus. Sure, the first one was a bit interesting, but the Covenant is not only stupid, it’s outright a copy of the first Alien. Why? And don’t even get me started on the CGI that sometimes looks like it’s made by a below-average Nigerian IT student. The Covenant is downright stupid and has no redeeming qualities in terms of the Alien saga. (18/05/2018)