Alien: Covenant

Enjoyable shit!! Covenant has a slightly longer run-up than I would have liked and the opening isn't very engaging, but anyway, the 15-strong crew makes it clear from the start that the horror viewer is not going to be short of a high body-count, and it isn't. As soon as the crew sets off to visit a new planet, a densely atmospheric, juicily brutal (finally a decent use of the R-rating), visually arresting and at times goosebump-inducing inferno begins, and it doesn't let up until the climactic finale, which lasts around half an hour and meets the strictest criteria of a true horror fan. Michael Fassbender and Katherine Waterston are absolutely amazing, the white xenomorph is one of the most attractive creatures I've ever had the opportunity to see on screen, Baby Alien and the unexpected final denouement are also satisfying. Overall, it's got decent balls especially when the Alien is rampaging on screen. If it wasn't for the slower opening, I'd go for the full score. Nerds and nitpickers will probably grumble, others might be satisfied. Interesting fact: one old man was so turned on to the alien that he had to see it even at the cost of not being able to walk. Apparently, he wanted a repeat of the theatrical opening like 38 years ago. Story 8/10, Atmosphere 9/10, Gore 8/10, Visuals 10/10, Action 8/10, Suspense 8/10,Humor 2/10. Entertainment 8/10, Scares 3/10. 85%. (15/05/2017)

Nope. Ridley Scott didn't make another Alien, he made another Prometheus. And what didn't work in the first one still doesn't work here, and maybe even more so. The characters are even duller, half of them are practically there just to die, and there's really no personality to speak of. On top of that, Katherine Waterston is an utterly insipid and unimaginative female lead. And unfortunately Ridley has this whole boring bunch babbling, sniffing things on an unknown planet, getting lost, splitting up and dying in such an undignified way that the word "cliché" doesn't even begin to describe it. Scott is still trying to make a movie with transcendence; philosophical, religious and thought-provoking, but again, the whole thing is dull at best and usually laughable, just like the villain David. It doesn't work as a horror film, it doesn't even want to do much, and the whole thing felt like a movie in which the aliens appear more or less only because it can't be called Prometheus 2. What you love about Alien, you don't get here. Because the senile Scott is going head to head with the wall and has probably decided to finish his Prometheus saga despite the fact that nobody really wants it. (16/05/2017)

Ridley Scott stands at the threshold between a spiritual continuation of Prometheus and an honest addition to alien encounters. He is slightly more successful in the first case, when I forget to breathe during the dialogue of two androids, my brain is racing in a pensive atmosphere at full speed, and somewhere in the background, a quiet voice whispers to me that many people will hate this chapter precisely because of those calm passages. The bloody meetings with the legendary adversary surprisingly do not have as much space as the trailer campaign promised, which explains the incomprehensible departures of viewers from the cinema long before the true beginning of the uncompromising confrontation. Because I have long admired the entire mythology of the xenomorphs and I happily watched Prometheus twice five years ago, I remain content. However, I am saddened that there was so little missing for the highest rating, specifically a slightly unfortunate necessity of a dramatic arc that Alien: Covenant must close in a separate chapter. I would easily leave the plot and mood scissors open even wider, and I would completely put the editor's scissors aside, because two hours are really not enough for perfect immersion. (18/05/2017)

It’s worse than Prometheus and the least interesting film in the entire saga. While the much-criticized Prometheus somehow matures into a better experience with repeated viewings, Covenant is an overripe and completely squeezed lemon. The mythology built around the most famous space killer is not interesting and the result is like a mediocre movie by a mediocre director, which takes place half of the time at night, in darkness, in dim light (Prometheus was much, much more visually engaging and colourful in this respect) and you won’t find any sign of Scott’s visual bravado. The crown is put on by the WTF mutual welcoming of the android and the newly hatched alien, which is like a cut from a Zucker brothers parody. What was that, dear producers? Please let Alien be a milestone in film history where it belongs and don't milk it like a cash cow, the poor thing is already barely hanging on. (24/05/2017)

A film where someone alternately screams hysterically in confusing scenes and alternately philosophizes about the issues of the space game show quiz in far too clear shots. Everyone behaves so erratically that the Prometheus crew reminds of professors of logic on a trip to the land of the eight-way. After a totally WTF birth scene, I decided that Alien had just died for me. One star for Franco's compression without having to utter a bare sentence on board. That is the right decision. The only one. (15/05/2017)