The Expendables 3

This film has the most imaginative and technically proficient action (Hughes is as spectacular as in the 1980s and at the same time crisp and clear as is appropriate thirty years later), the funniest newcomers (not the youngsters!), the most luxurious villain (yeah, Mel's to blame, but damn it, take it easy on him already, he's in his prime), and sadly, the most boringly conceived plot (it's not much more than an amusement ride and the second film sorely lacks self-deprecation). (08/08/2015)

Morons need friends. While the second installment surpasses the first one in mutating into long action orgies that can only be interrupted by a witty line or a minor plot twist, the last foray into 80s nostalgia surprisingly does the exact same thing. It doesn't stop, it doesn't take a breath, for two hours it throws various fighting tactics at the audience, all enveloped in a disgruntled retirement subplot. Moreover, Mel Gibson's unsettling ex-Expendable works brilliantly, especially because he isn't a villain in the classic sense of the word, but a guy whose nerves are on edge (though his own nerves occasionally lightly hold him back). Thanks to Sylvester Stallone's unbreakable buddy chemistry with anyone, this team of walking bulletproof vests managed to reach such heights. Considering the zero box office revenue, it will likely remain there – and considering the maximum satisfaction and sense of closure at the end credits, I can actually live with that. (20/08/2014)

I think it's a better film than the second film, which feels somewhat forced. But of course it has its flaws. On the one hand, it’s perfectly filmed and well-arranged action with an amazing finale with the army, a likeable bunch of familiar old men spiced up by the excellent Banderas and Ford, who obviously had a good time, villain Mel Gibson, and a constant pace. On the other hand, most of the time the young team is not very interesting (this is not true in the finale, where they all shine) and especially, especially, especially the lackluster Stallone vs. Gibson duel. Plus there is one glaring illogicality - the Expendables fly to Somalia to eliminate someone and they don't even know what he looks like? Very strange.___P.S. Those who watched the pirated copy instead of at the movie theatre must have missed about half of the experience. Good for you. (18/08/2014)

This movie is so terribly gay that if I were to unexpectedly walk into one of the RVs some night during filming, I believe I'd collide with an Italian Stallion clinging his powerful lips to the shaved nipple of a cute giggling Terry Crews, with Austrian-eyed Arnold rubbing a cigar on Statham's naked buttocks and Kellan Lutz with his pink lips behind the camera shooting the whole thing. The downgraded access to a PG13 rating has, among other things, traded blood for cold man sweat, and thanks to motivational bullshit like a gym coach, we suddenly have not an action movie in front of us, but a classic prepubescent muscle show for young Leo Beráneks. Logically, then, the best action scenes here are the skillful Banderas and Ronda, because they at least pretend to have some choreography. I don't think that the lower level of accessibility automatically reduces the functionality of the action scenes, just that for this action and the forms the filmmakers have chosen for it to it take (knives, machetes, close-range shooting), it doesn't work. Not even the LazyTown-esque special effects help. And as for Stallone and his old-man dragging of pensioner's dilemmas into an action movie, all I can say is "Sly, go to Pelhřimov. They have a crematorium there. Take a good look around. See what you're getting into." Actually, the whole thing reminded me of a pub owner I met recently who, when asked what kind of beer they had, said, "We’ve got Budvar. But I wouldn't have any." (07/12/2014)

You bet I’m overrating it, because at last they managed to fine tune it. The first part was about nostalgia, part two just blinked by, part three is a big show about revenge, education and the team spirit, what else? The primary strength is Gibson, hungry for a proper role, he relishes every minute on screen, but he has criminally few of them. Snipes is out of jail and making himself known. He’s still got it. The king of the snappy line is definitely Banderas and his mouthy Galgo, his broken English enough to drive the audience round the bend. And what about the old gang? Still singing the same tune, they work well together, even if it’s sometimes a bit knives out. Arnold and Jet question their orientation with a smile. Anything for a laugh. And the youngsters a pretty fine too. Hughes proves himself to be the best director of the trilogy yet, despite occasional confusing action scenes, he has everything in hand and so in visual terms Expendables 3 comes out on top. The screenplay is full of holes and gigantic, in places exaggerated (the house packed with C4 and tanks), in places too restrained finale (Sly vs. Mel), but at least it’s consistent. In any case, it’s one big show that is best scene on the silver screen. - Why did they call you Doctor Death? - I was a medic. (15/08/2014)