Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

About halfway through, it was an excellent, brisk fairytale that made sense and delivered a refreshing joke here and there. Without any irony, it was fine. But from the moment Rey's origins were revealed, it magically became a horribly stupid, bizarre, clichéd, clueless piece of idiocy that would have been beautifully parodied by Monty Python if they still were around. I suffered like an animal, hiding my head in my hands and counting the minutes until the end of the second half. When Finn says "I can feel it.", I had a fit of laughter; not joyful, but despairing, disbelieving at what I was seeing and hearing. I can't believe the pervasive pathos in the ending is the work of someone as clever as Abrams, didn't he maybe suddenly go on vacation and let Emmerich take control instead? I can totally see the brainstorming session of Disney executives gathered around the table, panicking about how best to blow it so as to avoid the miserable box office results of the eighth installment (an excellent one, by the way, I still stand by that). That one at least offered a bold detour, took things in its own way and unfortunately stumbled. So Disney has cowardly negated the whole thing, stood it on its head, nonsensically incorporated old themes and characters, and the result is the proverbial stew cooked by a dog and cat that makes your tummy hurt, and not even charcoal will help you. (21/12/2019)

Disney reap what they sow, and it's not a pretty sight. Episode VII bet on nostalgia, so I've forgiven the new boring protagonists. Episode VIII took a different direction, but the studio found they didn't like where it went. So in Episode IX they try to fix everything from the previous film and we're with Rey, Kylo Ren, Poe and Finn for the third time and they're actually still utterly boring and empty characters. And now, as a viewer, I am supposed to be interested to see how they turn out. I just don't give a shit. J.J. Abrams isn't actually wrapping up a trilogy here, his main job is to clean up the mess that came from not knowing what they wanted at Disney. He may have done the best job he could, but that doesn't change the fact that whenever there’s no action and Rise of Skywalker attempts some emotion and relationships, it's awfully boring and annoying. The movie has no foundation to build on in that regard and out of desperation even has to make up new rules for how the world works. And yet it fails to evoke any emotion other than a sense of giant disappointment. The ninth Star Wars did succeed at something I didn't think could ever be accomplished. They stifled my enthusiasm for the franchise. I sure as hell hope not forever. (19/12/2019)

This was great in IMAX. The space spectacle of the year, with a blistering pace, amazing (digital) locations, delicately busy camerawork and nostalgia, supported by unexpected appearances of old characters. In the final confrontation, I felt the force, almost like in the final rebellion against Sauron. And finally, I liked Daisy Ridley. Unveiling the new identities of the re-established characters didn’t make much sense to me, but since I don’t remember exactly what happened in the preceding episode, I didn’t care (I don’t consider this trilogy to be part of the beloved STAR WARS; it’s just commercial parasitization). However, a second screening on a significantly smaller screen, where it was no longer possible to not notice the (dis)honesty of working with viewers in telling a meaningful story, diminished my impression of the film. The Rise of Skywalker is merely a disposable rollercoaster ride, an attraction in the new Star Wars section at Disneyland. (24/12/2019)

The interesting thing about the Star Wars franchise is that I'm not into it on its own, but if a spin off (Solo) or a series (The Mandalorian) comes out, I'm downright excited, which is pretty weird. Again, I wasn't entertained at all, I didn't care about the characters, I didn't like the action or the practical effects, so I suffered through the classic two hour martyrdom. Story**, Action**, Humor*, Violence>No, Entertainment*, Music***, Visuals***, Atmosphere**, Suspense*. 2/10. (19/03/2020)

With the end of the saga, the time has come to remember the man who started it all and who is only artfully recalled here and there so as not to be mentioned – see the nostalgic promo videos perfectly crafted by Disney's marketing team to create the impression that the saga now finally belongs to the fans and that the fans conclude it for the fans (thus Lucas is found there in the grand total of only one shot). It is fascinating how the corporation succeeded in cutting George Lucas, who had always been mentioned in the same breath with the franchise, off from Lucasfilm within a few years of acquiring the brand. Lucas was not only the creator, but also a malevolent god who does whatever he pleases with the films and ignores the prayers of the fanatical admirers of his work. This distant memory makes a refreshing impression today, when we conversely live in an era when marketing campaigns and the entire PR product are often more important, powerful and characteristically even more expensive than the blockbusters that they promote, and when the films themselves are made according to PR plans and not on the basis of any vision or ambition. How paradoxical it is that the cleverly designed return of the saga to the fans and, furthermore, the evident subordination to their taste gave rise to the most unforgettable and most unanimously panned film of the entire series. If the highlight of the series still remains the fifth (strongly atypical in the context of the whole saga) episode with its outstanding narrative structure, which perfectly alternates between the environment and the characters so that it never gets bogged down, then the ninth instalment, following the example of its hyperjumps, rushes to cram as many elements as possible into its monumental runtime. However, the resulting effect is merely a blur of colour from which nothing remains at the end of the closing credits. I vaguely recall that the ninth film nullified (seemingly) everything innovative and fresh from the previous episode and replaced it with nonstop fan service, which made even hardcore fans nauseous. But, as is the case with few films, you have to see it in the cinema, because you will not get the gradual disappearance of the crowd’s enthusiasm and incredulous cries and outbursts of desperate laughter anywhere else. Personally, I decided that I wanted Porgs, Ewoks, Jawas and Gungans to be present at the end of the saga, so I am 75% satisfied with the film. (22/12/2019)