Pompeii

Pompeii is a film that was made primarily for its spectacular depiction of one of nature's most famous disasters, which was achieved with great audiovisual effects. The story itself is one big and predictable cliché, but I have to commend the very end, which indeed pleased me in terms of the script. The cast was mostly likeable, except that I had trouble understanding at times because I saw the film in the original and without subtitles. But I went to the cinema to get a proper dose of effects, which I got, so I was satisfied after the screening. In short, a "popcorn movie" that fits and needs to be seen on the big screen, otherwise its primary purpose is completely lost (11/03/2014)

Pompeii is exactly that kind of movie about which I’ve read bunch of opinions from the self-proclaimed experts that the movie is going to suck before it was even released. It is created by Paul W. S. Anderson and he has never shot a good movie. The local reviewers and know-it-all experts had a clear opinion even before they watched the movie. What else should I expect? For a change, I kept my mouth shut and waited until I actually saw the movie. And I have to say I was surprised by decent filmmaking, which was however not set in the ancient Rome, but in the ancient Rome modified by the Americans. But I can get over that. I liked the actors, I liked the story and most of all I liked the second half of the film, which turned the locations into an absolute hell. So I can’t really find any flaws with Anderson’s work – this is just exactly what I was expecting from him and what I also truly enjoyed. (11/05/2014)

One day, Paul Anderson and Milla Jovovich were bored, lounging by the big swimming pool of their Florida beach house, on the table they had grapes, a bottle of Richeourg 1961 and a plate packed with truffles and crab claws. “Hey, Milla,” says Paul suddenly, “I think we need to enliven our marriage somehow, give it a new drive.” “Yeah, you’re right” replies Milla, “the only thing I can think of is a new, beautiful luxury yacht. We still don’t have one. It’d be the spark we need in our lives!” “You’re right,” said Paul, “a yacht would be fine. Abramovich has one, you know, the owner of Chelsea, or whatever the name of that soccer club is, and he’s really happy with it. But where can we get money for it? Resident Evil won’t cut it anymore. I’ve got an idea! We can make...” And Milla interrupts enthusiastically “Resident Evil 6 and Three Musketeers: Revenge From the Past! A crossover that will blow audiences’ minds!“ “Nah,” replies Paul waving his hand, “we need to be smarter. Think about this, what have been the most successful movies of the last few years? But REALLY successful. Titanic and Gladiator!!“ Milla looks at Paul flabbergasted, almost choking with a truffle. Paul gets up from his chair, clearly in his element, and speaks so passionately that he's waving his hands: “We’ll blend these two hits, it’ll be awesome! Pompeii I’ll call it! We rip-off the fights, the concept, the course and the twist from Gladiator, and from Titanic we cram in the fateful love, so that teenage girls will like it. The hero will be played by some beefcake or another, it doesn’t matter if he can’t act, the girls won’t mind. And we’ll save on the script, it’s not important. The main thing is to pack it with as much CGI as possible. It’ll be MASSIVE!!” Screams Paul until he’s almost popping a vein. “Milla, it’ll be a motherfucking hit!!!” Milla thinks for a moment, swallows a grape, cracks her knuckles and then asks, frostily, expecting an affirmative answer: “And darling, will there be a part for me?” (03/05/2014)

Flat like a week-open can of Bud. This time it isn’t Anderson’s fault alone. A screenwriter’s mishmash of Gladiator, Spartacus and Dante’s Peak suffers from inane dialogs and mostly predictable plot. Jon Snow is a bit stiff, but if he doesn’t attempt any romance, he’s bearable. Kiefer gets almost perverted enjoyment from playing the villain from the Reich, but that doesn’t make the end result much better. The only really good thing is Shorter’s music, the volcano action in the finale, and I was surprise that it was all over. Do you like sport? (31/05/2014)

A prequel to Gladiator with embarrassing sets, decent fights, especially considering that it’s PG-13, but there are too many references and similarities that are reproduced too clumsily to be nodded in agreement. The acting is basically nothing and the script is a big pile of pathos and a confusion of all the clichés. All that remains is solid visuals and that's it. (07/09/2014)