Conan the Barbarian

The first quarter of an hour is an excellent prologue. But then that prologue never ends and the film turns out to be a two-hour, dull and lifeless, albeit visually impressive music video set to Basil Poledouris’s exceptional soundtrack. A film in which every shot lasts five times longer than was really necessary. (27/05/2002)

I’ve noticed that this is my 900th review, and let me tell you what, I could have chosen better. I expected more from a film with such a reputation. Perhaps the only one who fulfilled his role here was the young Arnold, who runs around the set for two hours half naked, displaying his body in detail, which is fine with me, though I would have rather appreciated close-ups of his companion. The film itself is pretty much about nothing, everything takes a long time, the action is scarce and real entertainment even less. Only the music deserves praise, though it didn’t sit me well with me during some passages. What sticks in my mind the most is probably the intent and devilish look of James Earl Jones, who was perfectly cast as the bad guy. 60% (09/02/2012)

I just now realized that I've never actually seen the whole of Conan the Barbarian. I only remember the movie up to the point where they steal the Eye of the Snake, but after that, I don't remember anything. I finally corrected my mistake and I must say that I enjoyed the film a lot. Excellent characters, great music, a fantastic setting, and effects that are excellent in places. And a pretty classic Conan story to boot. (20/10/2016)

Weapons clanging and blood splattering in a monumental-looking, fantasy film. Arnold’s acting may be as stiff as a month-old load of bread, but I can't imagine anyone else as Conan. The film has a wonderful atmosphere of ancient times and Robert Howard can rest in his grave. What elevates it to almost a work of art is the – amazing, wonderful, fantastic, brilliant, monumental (take your pick) – soundtrack by Basil Poledouris. I haven't heard, and probably won't hear, anything better in the field of film soundtracks, and it's not just my opinion. If you haven't heard it, or don't have the CD, definitely get it and just enjoy it. (20/04/2003)

A film of truly barbaric qualities. Terrible acting, primitive directing, trivial story, excellent musical accompaniment... All of this brings together a completely unique atmosphere, which goes with the subject like a sword in the chest. What is the use if the fights are built more like a fitness demonstration of Arnie's muscles, what is the point if only the demonic James Earl Jones’s performance is the only decent one...? Milius's Conan remains a fearless war cult among fantasy films because, despite all the objectively visible flaws (and there are as many of them as there are naked women in Thul's harem), it retains a special pagan charm. Which doesn't change the fact that the film is actually quite lousy... (30/09/2004)