EvilPhoEniX

A slow, boring, tedious, lengthy and woefully uninteresting conversation between the unconvincing agent Elijah Wood (he is absolutely unsuited to the role) and Ted Bundy, about whom the viewer learns nothing new. Both Mindhunter and Zac Efron's Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile are two categories above. This is ultimately a wasted film and wasted time. Nah thanks. 30%.

Be my Victim! Sorry, it was just in the trailer. Ugh so I'm leaving the new Candyman more disappointed than I would have hoped. I can get over the fact that it's political propaganda, social drama about racism, mulitcultural as fuck, but why someone has to make a slowburn drama out of the cult urban legend slasher with a crossover into art, where Candyman doesn't get on until somewhere in the 40 minute mark and waves his hook off camera, I just don't understand. The scene in the washroom, the trailer had me looking forward to that one (we've all seen Halloween, right?), it had the potential to make a memorable scene, but a woman is directing, so we're not going to put four dead teenagers on camera, let the viewer imagine the guts and severed heads! A shot in the head for laziness and unwillingness to give the viewer pleasure. Tom Savini would be in tears at the wasted potential of this scene. What’s next? The uninteresting dialogues, the intimate look, the slow pace that at times it really drags like shit in traffic and I felt like I was watching a 2 hour horror movie by SyFy. The cinematography is nice at times, and I liked the retrospective puppet story, and that's actually the most interesting thing about the whole movie; the mythology around Candyman is not that badly presented, but that's not enough! The finale is rushed and apart from the first murder of a couple, which gave hope that the whole film would be in a similar vein, it was more of a taste of something that is definitely not coming. And the music? I didn't even notice it except for the bees buzzing. No atmosphere, not scares to speak of either. If Jordan Peele had taken over the direction, it could have been more interesting and certainly more entertaining. As it is, it's a bit meh and a disgrace. And I'm currently more annoyed than I am after bee sting! I have nothing against gay people, but for them to be on the scene more often than Candyman himself is a bit much. Story 3/5, Action 2/5, Humor 0/5, Violence 2/5, Fun 2/5 Music 2/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Suspense 2/5, Emotion 1/5, Actors 4/5. 4/10.

Insanely pumped up comeback. Wow I'm screaming to the heavens. Bugger me! My tongue out of my mouth somewhere in the garden. I screamed swear words for an hour. What an awesome experience. Momoa cuts and breaks again, so much that blood spurted slowly from the TV all the way to me! A dream come true. The new successor to GoT without question. I haven't seen anything better in series production since Warrior.

A korean variation of Death Note with undead and it's a ride! South Korea makes itself known again after a long hiatus and immediately pulls a proper blockbuster from the writer of Train to Busan (the resemblance is damn clear), and it's excellent. South Korea is famous for serial killers, but what if the victims are killed by the undead? Well, that's a hell of a problem even for Korean detectives. The main villain has the ability to summon the dead to life and manipulate them, and it's an organized zombie mayhem that is breathtaking in places, thanks to a cool soundtrack and intense action scenes. I'm a little sorry the film had to do without blood, but even in Train to Busan that worked. The undead look great, their movements, the crunching of their bones and subsequent disintegration into dust is rendered impressively. The organized attack on a huge pharmaceutical company and the car chase in the tunnel followed are really cool. The whole film has a crazy pace, it’s visually great, there are a few plot twists, even some classic martial art with agents – I really didn't expect that here. The atmosphere is thick and, although the similarity to Death Note is evident, it goes its own original way and I enjoyed the two hours very much. That’s the Way! Story 4/5, Action 4/5, Humour 0/5, Violence 1/5, Fun 4/5 Music 4/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 4/5, Suspense 4/5, Emotion 1/5, Actors 4/5. 8/10.

Maggie Q is a very sexy Jane Wick as The Protégé! Martin Campbell has done Casino Royale, Goldeneye, The Legend of Zorro and The Foreigner, so he's not exactly your average action routine director and he's delivered a likeable action ride that doesn't bring much new to the genre story-wise, but doesn't put the genre to shame, and of the recent Female assassin hero films I enjoyed Protégé the most. I was surprised by Maggie Q, who not only has sex appeal to spare, but also acts well and is no slouch in action. I was also surprised by Michael Keaton, who enjoys his villain role, and the clashes between them are decent. The kill me or fuck me twist is downright excellent. Apart from the actors, I enjoyed the awesome visuals, the great clear cinematography, the decent action – it’s beautifully R-rated, with enough blood here for my satisfaction by American standards. For me this is a simple but entertaining enough action one-shot that I definitely wasn't expecting before watching it. Story 3/5, Action 4/5, Humor 2/5, Violence 4/5, Fun 4/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Suspense 3/5, Emotion 1/5, Actors 4/5. 7/10.

Attention! Cronenberg meets Kafka? F**K YOUU! If Cronenberg saw this, he'd send rabies after the Polish director! The film tries too perfectly to resemble The Fly, but it never goes beyond promises (Eastern Promises, of course). The protagonist's apartment starts hatching mosquito babies until it becomes a sort of art buttefly where it's more about economics and wine than anything interesting. And just when it looked like it might take off, it ends up in the Dead Zone. The eXistenZ of the film is unknown and it's so boring that it almost gave me the Shivers! A failure in the history of Insect cinema. Story 2/5, Action 0/5, Humor 0/5, Violence 0/5, Fun 1/5 Music 1/5, Visuals 2/5, Atmosphere 1/5, Suspense 1/5, Emotion 0/5. 1/10.

Jan Komasa is definitely talented and I consider his film The Hater to be the best of modern Polish cinema. Corpus Christi has been sitting on my disc for about a year and I didn't want to get into it because of the subject matter. In the end, it's quite digestible, but certainly nothing that would make me fall to my knees. Bartosz Bielenia's acting is great and I enjoyed the scenes from the pimp, but the scenes from the church less so. The intense finale saves it quite a bit, and the character of Bonus is really monstrous, but I would have preferred if the main character had gone on more of a rampage with women, drugs, alcohol, which only outlined to a lesser degree, and I'm not going to spend stars just for the story. Story 4/5, Action 2/5, Humor 0/5, Violence 2/5, Fun 3/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 3/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Suspense 2/5, Emotion 3/5. 6/10.

There are only two kinds of people. The Dutch pull off a solid war thriller set during the Indonesian War of Independence just after WWII, and it is very well directed and acted, with very good visuals. The film could be divided into two halves. The first is more drama, introducing and developing the characters and outlining the history. I liked the second half more. The main character joins an elite army unit led by a ruthless and cruel captain, whose practices are not to everyone's liking. Once it comes to the ruthless slaughter of villagers, it's quite an unpleasant spectacle that takes yet another unexpected turn at the 20 minute mark, and I have to say I liked the switch to survival mode a lot. It could have been shorter and more action-packed, but it's still a fun affair that fans of history and war movies shouldn't miss. Story 4/5, Action 3/5, Humour 0/5, Violence 4/5, Fun 4/5 Music 4/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 4/5, Suspense 3/5, Emotion 3/5. 7/10.

Exorcism done by the old way! I'm Motherfucking Bruja! The main character is a likeable journalist of Mexican descent who returns to her homeland to report on witchcraft, but is kidnapped by locals who claim she is the devil incarnate. I liked that the film starts off like this immediately without any unnecessary 30 minute filler. An exotic and refreshing approach to the rather exhausted sub-genre of exorcism, which thanks to the attractive Mexican jungle setting and cultural differences, comes across as likeable and managed to surprise me on more than one occasion. The film has style, likeable actors, cool make-up effects (the final look of the demon is cool), there were a few scares, the hallucinogenic scenes are great, and the half hour exorcism is properly mystical. While watching it, I was reminded of the Korean film The Wailing, and that kind of hand-poking in the stomach was quite unpleasant. Old Ways is not revolutionary or a gem, but it is so likeable, fun and eager that I'll gladly throw in 4 stars, especially considering how uninterestingly other filmmakers have approached the theme of exorcism the last few years. Story 3/5, Action 3/5, Humour 0/5, Violence 2/5, Fun 4/5 Music 4/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 4/5, Suspense 3/5, Emotion 2/5. 7/10.

The fanboys are probably happy, but it left me cold. I didn’t enjoy the plot at all, the monsters are too ordinary, but I understand the difficulty of the artwork. Fortunately, it’s R-rated and the fatalities had something going for them, but once they stopped cutting, I kind of yawned. I'd prefer 3D Animation, with monsters from the games and I'd definitely welcome humour. 6/10.