Jeoffrey

In essence, Heavenly Sword is not so bad, although the animation was more on the level of video games that do not suit a feature-length movie. In other words, I would have expected much more. In addition, some of the shortcomings and imperfections (facial expressions, gestures, and sometimes even movement) were noticeable in places, and sometimes it looked a bit clunky. Still, I thought it has quite an interesting narrative, even though it could have easily been more and better elaborated. Despite that, it still had some surprising moments. For example, when the brother finally got his hands on the sword and declared he had been dreaming about that moment all his life, but then, what? The main female protagonist and her sister look very nice, although unfortunately, they are not able to listen so well anymore. Yes, even the narration has its weaknesses. The soundtrack was quite good, although almost any music that can be described as "epic" would be suitable for a movie like this, so the anime's creators did not have a hard time with this aspect, in my opinion. 4.5/10.

I may not have been completely enchanted, although I was certainly pleasantly surprised. I thought the animation style was great and found it very colorful and, in a way, very pretty. I also liked the main protagonists; Aisling especially was charming. Unfortunately, the narrative was not that engaging, and although it was interesting, I did not feel any chills or other deeper sensations. Still, thanks to the great soundtrack, I had fun watching this show, so I guess it was very enjoyable and this is expressed as 7/10.

After the unsuccessful second SpongeBob SquarePants movie, I was quite skeptical about Asterix being a 3D computer-animated movie. In the end, however, I am relieved to say that my fears were unfounded and that I enjoyed Asterix: The Mansion of the Gods quite a lot. From the first joke about the architect who is so good that some of his buildings are still standing, I was in my element. The sense of humor and execution of the new Asterix movie is much more like the old cartoons than the live-action movies, and I think that is just as well. The 3D animation also fits Asterix quite well in the end, and I was happy with the dubbing and soundtrack as well. If the stories about Asterix the brave Gaul continue in this direction, I really am not going to mind. 8/10.

For the celebration of my hundredth review, I could not have chosen anything less than my favorite anime series. Gintama is the funniest and most perfect parody of almost everything an anime fan can think of. It features nearly all the clichés and tropes, plus the twists are so perfectly unique that it leaves you in stitches. The jokes develop into other jokes, and then at the right moment, they go back to the original joke, albeit in a different way, and you have to roll around on the floor laughing and at the same time marveling at the anime's creators and what they achieved. Hideaki Sorachi is the manga artist behind this, and he is the troll of all trolls; nothing is sacred to him. He steals ideas from practically everywhere and is not afraid to make fun of the audience (how often has Gintama ended?) and himself, a monkey. Plus, the quality of this anime series and its sense of humor seem more amazing than the number of other anime series I have seen. When I saw Gintama six years ago for the first time, I had a great time, even though at times I did not get it. I only recognized references to the most famous anime series like One Piece, Bleach, etc. However, when I watched it again a year later and had already watched over a hundred anime series, suddenly my viewing experience was completely different. When I watched it last year (some four hundred anime series watched later), it was even better than the first time because I had more to compare it to. It seemed the perfect show. There are references to various other anime series but also movies (like Star Wars), games (like Super Mario Bros), or even actors (like Jackie Chan), and the perfect situational and conversational sense of humor makes this a real treasure. However, there are also the characters who also make it such a good show. There is an entire collection of quirky personalities and perverts that you will not find anywhere else, and Gintoki himself is the absolute king among them. He is a lazy, cheeky, drunk, playful main male protagonist, plus he is a total loser. He is a laughing stock for everyone. However, no one wants to touch his friends, or they will see him change into a demon, an epic-level action hero that would make Chuck Norris piss his pants. So, a funny show becomes a top-notch action-packed shounen. There is also the lazy and brash alien Kagura, who has incredible strength. Then there is the chatty prude and quite dumb Shinpachi, his sister, who is sweet and pleasant until you piss her off. Her stalker is the head of the Shinsengumi special police force. There are other members of the Shinsengumi like the sadistic Okita and mayonnaise-loving Hijikata, the crazy terrorist Zura (ZURA JANAI, KATSURA DA!!!). I could write about this show forever because even every supporting character is unique, and you can easily remember them. You can even enjoy the biggest jerk (I am thinking of Prince Hata, aka Baka-ouji) and the bad guy. Aside from the characters, there are also unique items. So even things like Justaway or the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon (especially the way it looks) get under your skin fast. Well, what would be the perfect show with perfect humor and incredibly perfect characters without a good story? Gintama manages to combine episodes that will keep you entertained even when nothing happens. Even an episode where the whole time the shot is at Gintoki's mansion and the main three protagonists are just talking and telling one joke after another will keep you entertained. Then there are the story sequences that can engage even the more discerning viewer with their sophistication. The soundtrack is great, and most of the openings and endings are great, I love listening to them, and the animation is also superb. In other words, this anime series has everything I want from an anime, and so it is rightfully at the top of my Top Ten, and this is unlikely to change.

School Days is an anime series that got me as only a few things have, I guess. It starts with a story about an interesting and believable relationship that is easy to watch and has a pleasant pace that takes you nicely to the fifth episode. It starts off very interesting: a shy boy called Makoto falls in love with a girl and has trouble getting close to her; luckily, he has a good friend, and she is happy and willing to help him with his problems because she likes him. Even the denouement, when Makoto realizes that his feelings are much more complicated and he makes his decision is perfectly fine in my opinion (SPOILER ALERT I was rooting for Sekai). If it had ended with episode five, I would say I would award this show a casual three stars without hesitation. However, what follows episode five is incredible, and you start hating the main protagonist Makato with a passion. You cannot help but swear at the guy and curse the damn jerk (and I am restraining myself). I even cursed at all the other characters at times, and the sad thing is that it still feels quite believable. I also knew guys like Makoto and saw the havoc they wreaked, and even though I was always so pissed off at them, another little voice whispered to me anyway, damn, he is very cool. I have seen plenty of naive, stupid girls and monsters going about their business too, and even those other types have been around at some point. It is just as if the cast suddenly went crazy, let their instincts take over, and all the blood from their brains piled into their genitals, or rather a probe of what the world would be like if people could not fully control themselves. There came a moment when I wished it would end exactly the way it does, and even though the conclusion is far-fetched, it gave me such a nice feeling of catharsis. I have to award this show five stars because it managed to stir up such strong emotions in me.

I am going to award this movie two stars because the story is not entirely bad. Also, it is quite interesting in places, although I was not too fond of the rest of it. The last time I saw a bunch of such horrible women was probably in Sex and the City, and their "rampage" and interactions were quite distasteful to me. Plus, I have nothing against poo jokes. However, seeing Melissa McCarthy pooping in the sink next to another idiot throwing up on another girl's head was not funny. It was, in fact, rather scary and slightly embarrassing, which from a person who had a good time watching Kevin & Perry Go Large probably sounds pretty weird, but what can you do?

I have not seen a worse lesbian pornographic movie, although this is not really pornographic, because the "action" is so insanely stupid that it is impossible to watch it as pornography. It is more like a glimpse into a sick brain dreaming of lesbian vampire sex, who has never seen a lesbian or sex in his life, and who is trying to be so sexy that it is embarrassing and cheesy. If I go to "xHamster", or similar sites, and find any video with a similar theme, I would see much better pornography, "acting" and "actresses" than in this movie.

My-HiME is an interesting mish-mash of different themes, ideas, and clichés combined in a relatively fresh way. It is a bit like when you take some leftovers from the fridge and mix them up into something new and delicious. Although I was not too keen on it at first, it only took me two days to get through the first seven or so episodes. From the eighth episode onwards, at the end of each episode, something new and interesting happened, and due to these twists and new revelations, it made me want to really start getting into it. They suggested that the show’s narrative was not simply a crazy mix of some old ideas the anime’s creators had previously rejected and abandoned as they were not so good. Rather, they were well-thought-out episodes with a sophisticated setting and narrative. Plus, the last third of the season (from about episode eighteen onwards) is just an absolute treat. This show has action-packed twists, suspense, relationships, a psycho, a little romance here and there, just everything a viewer could want. If it had that kind of drive from the start, I would have awarded this show five stars and put it in my Top Ten right away, so it is a shame it did not. As for the characters, they also start to gain another dimension with new revelations and become more and more interesting as time goes on, plus they slowly develop as well, so I was more than satisfied. My favorite characters in the first half were the clingy and ever-hungry Mikoto, the overly-serious Natsuki, Yuuichi, and the white-haired Nagi, who is an enigma to all and capable of biting remarks. Towards the end, the Fuka Academy Student Council president, Shizuru, the goofy teacher Midori, and even Mai are good. Another positive thing is there are some fascinating lessons that My-HiME offers us, so you learn that even a nun is just a woman really, how to know true love and many other interesting things. The soundtrack is perfect, although I rarely notice the music in anime series and I usually only notice it when it is bad and distracting, however, the music in this show is not intrusive, so it is great. It is perfectly in sync with the story and adds a new dimension. The animation is rather average, although the fight scenes were pretty good. Because of the gripping conclusion, which really got me and almost made me forget my initial uncertainty, this anime series deserves a strong four stars from me.

So I waited and even SpongeBob SquarePants managed to disappoint me. I quite like an absurd and crazy sense of humor, but there was not a lot of it here. Sure there were a few good jokes, like when Plankton had to put Patrick to sleep with a fairy tale, or SpongeBob claimed that Patrick was a valid member of the team because he was loyal. In general, however, I was only occasionally amused, which is not good for a SpongeBob SquarePants movie. Even the story did not have the enthusiasm of, say, the previous movie or the TV series, and the bit on the land had terrible 3D animation, which did not suit the movie. Sure it was nice to have Antonio Banderas play one of the characters, although honestly, David Hasselhoff's five minutes in the role of a lifetime in the first movie put Burger Beard in the shade with ease. There was not even a crazy song (like The Goofy Goober Song (I'm a Goofy Goober, Yeah!)) or a moment that drew me in or dazzled me in any powerful way. So to sum it up, this is definitely the weakest offering from Bikini Bottom so far, for which it earned only an average rating from me for the first time because this is not worth any more than a 5/10, in my opinion, even for die-hard fans.

When I was still in high school, we had a biology class on evolution. The teacher explained that humans and chimps share a surprising ninety-eight percent of their DNA. Some species of primates supposedly have a propensity for possessiveness and violence encoded in their DNA, and therefore so do we. To prove her point, she showed us a documentary about chimpanzees, which showed fights over territory plus disputes between males over females and others. Interestingly, she mentioned that there are also Bonobo chimpanzees who are not aggressive at all. These chimps hardly ever fight among themselves and solve their disagreements with sex. In the same way, they also strengthen relationships within their community and the family, and this behavior is associated with fear and other stimuli. The professor made an interesting point at the time that if we were genetically closer to Bonobo chimpanzees than to other representatives of the primate/ape species, humanity would live a much healthier and more peaceful life without wars and other tensions. Already back then I thought that such an idea was interesting. However, it is not very realistic from a practical point of view, and I do not think such a society could successfully thrive and gain a privileged position among other species. I remembered these moments exactly from my school days while watching this anime series, and I must say that I enjoyed the storyline and how the theme of the "ideal society" is presented in this show and the other interesting issues raised by this show. It was slightly disturbing at times, and the crazy and incomprehensible change, thanks to the time jump, that came in the eighth episode, when I could not stop rolling my eyes at what all had changed out of shot, off-screen, will especially be remembered for a long time. I could not award this anime series a full score because even though I understood that they were different from normal kids, I often had quite a big problem with the characters' behavior. Even though this show is very rich and also very clever and hilarious, at times, I was extremely surprised, shocked, and in denial about the characters' logic, so I had issues enjoying it properly. The quality of the concept of this show makes it worth the five stars, in my opinion. However, since my ratings are mostly subjective, I am only awarding this 8/10.