J*A*S*M

My apologies to Coppola for the weak rating, but I was unable to finish this nonsense with an overweight baroque angel in the main role. Objectively, perhaps it’s not that that bad, but it’s been a long time since I disliked something so much.

This ghost story was pretty solid in every aspect. It has a decent plot with a pretty effective and surprising twist (though I have to admit I’m not an expert in Eastern long-haired ghost stories, I’m just getting into them, so maybe, for Asian horror fans, the twist might not be that surprising, I don’t know), the execution is very good, and even the ghost earned my respect. Thumbs up, a good Korean ghost movie, but don’t expect any bursts of originality.

Whether I like it or not, I must put the enthusiasm here a little under check :-) After the first part, which I though was average at best, I decided to pass on the worse reviewed second part and go straight to the praised final part of the trilogy. And I’m not really that excited. Let’s start with what’s bad: The Chanting is an utterly trashy film with awful actors and a weak script. Perhaps what pissed me off the most were the incredibly shallow characters ( – “oh, a ghost is after me! – “give me a break, it was a dream!” – “a dream? oh, OK, whatever.”). But it also has a lot of good things, starting with the beautiful jungle setting (I really fancied some cannibal film from the 70s), the terrifying ghosts and the last ten minutes or so, which are the best description I can think of for “pure exotic horror”. 7/10

A fight to the death between two crazy actresses. They play with eggs, electricity and a chainsaw. I wish someone would make a Czech remake with Iveta Bartošova a Agáta Hanychova in the main roles.

A short story about a lonely guy

Prometheus has landed! The critics have spoken at length about the illogical behaviour of the characters and the unresolved jumps in the plot, so I will write something in its defence. Yes, those complaints are undoubtedly warranted and that’s a real shame, without those issues this film would be almost perfect, because everything except the script is very good. However, part of those flaws in logic could be excused saying that instead of a “team of methodological, 100% reliable and careful scientist” the expedition features “scientists driven by an inner desire for answers and discoveries”; some of the unresolved motifs can be easily guessed and some of the incomprehensible behaviour and weird details aren’t actually that impossible to understand, it’s just the viewers who don’t understand them (e.g. the behaviour of David or the settings of the medical equipment). And I also think it’s good that there are things left unsaid about the mythology, because thinking about a mythology on your own is A LOT of fun (BTW, the often used combo “Scott ruined the mystery around Alien” + “Scott didn’t explain anything” is logically contradictory). What’s left, and can by no means be excused (the scientists getting lost in the mapped galleries, etc.)… well, how you see it will depend on the type of viewer you are. If you demand films should be 100% coherent, with a clear theme that is addressed properly, and where all the questions are answered and all the motifs are addressed, tough luck. If, in contrast, you like a more open text, where the interpretations of and the musings over the meanings (or, rather finding the meanings, in this case :-D) are just as important, if not more, than the film itself, then you will know how to forgive Prometheus’s mistakes. Fortunately, I’m in the second group. /// The visuals are intoxicating, the ideas about the creator-creation relationship (because we can) are interesting, and the mythology, which only peeks behind the curtains, is even more interesting. 8.5/10 and relative satisfaction (!!!), though it certainly had more potential. PS: I want an extended version on DVD and in two years I want a sequel not written by Damon Lindelof :-D PPS: From a certain perspective, this film, together with its advertising campaign, is a brilliant package because it gives the viewers an experience very similar to the protagonist. Elizabeth joins the expedition to find answers to important philosophical questions. Her motivations are not mundane, she expects something like enlightenment (figure out who we are, why we came to be and what is our purpose). The campaign and the film’s first act prepare the viewer for sophisticated and uncompromising science fiction – a genre milestone. Elizabeth gets to the planet and, instead of finding satisfactory answers, she and the entire crew have “their asses kicked” by angry extraterrestrials. The viewer goes to the cinema and, instead of the intellectual sci-fi that was promised, they get brutal horror with notes of B-movie. It’s hard to jump in joy at this, but as a joke it’s good :-D

This Nordic horror thriller is a must-see if only for the utter whatthefuckery of the first half hour. The outcome is something we’ve seen lots of times, but it doesn’t matter, it’s still a very impressive, bold and perverted film that’s worth its 70 minutes.

A Lithuanian action zombie horror that looks very nice… and that’s all there is to it. The plot never escalates, it goes into shooting mode from the very first minute and, save for some short breaks, stays there until the end. The most apt word I can think to describe it is “numbing”.

The main difference between Piranha 3D and Piranha 3DD is evidently the name of the director. While Alexandre Aja is a master of gore and tension (and not very lucky with scripts), John Gulager is a fanboy with the mentality of a teenager (and for his attempts at “being funny”, he doesn’t even need any good script). Honestly: Piranha 3DD is bullshit, but proper, though you can guess that already from the trailer, so it’s not much such a big deal. It doesn’t bother at all with tension or fear, the second part is a thoroughbred comedy, the gore this time is not worth talking about and the final carnage, rather than complex action, is a poorly edited sequence of a few scenes. What’s good in the end is David Hasselhoff because he knows how to make fun of himself. 5/10

Project X is by no means an exceptional or particularly good film, but when that cool party gets going, there’s no risk of getting bored (at least for the target audience). In short, it’s a very undemanding, entertaining and easy-going film, rather than a teenage alternative to the ballbusting The Hangover. PS: To voluntarily put on a film about horny middle-schoolers and then complain that it’s not smart or intellectually stimulating… well, you have to be an even bigger moron than all of the characters :-)