Necrotongue

Verne's works were a significant part of my childhood. I read every available book by the author, but Around the World in 80 Days was not among my favorites. I didn't find the movies and series based on this theme convincing. That is, until today. A nearly seventy-year-old film from which I didn't expect much surprised me, and it flew by despite its lengthy running time. After all, the creators fit in all eighty days and then some in under three hours. I would say that I didn't enjoy the introductions to different cultures, but even those found their place with me after Phileas Fogg et al. arrived in San Francisco. I learned some new things, so now I know that excessive punctuality is not required for a gentleman's club. I also realized that whist is not just any card game, and I learned how to convert a steamship into a monitor during a voyage. The legends in cameo roles completely blew me away; they were quite a delight. And, of course, I liked Shirley MacLaine as an Indian princess because this can't be done in movies anymore. / Lesson learned: You can't stop progress, but it doesn't hurt to look back occasionally.

Luc Besson used to write great scripts and turn them into fantastic movies. This was not just an ordinary action thriller but also an exciting drama about a somewhat autistic professional assassin and his prepubescent almost-apprentice. I enjoyed it again, just like I did almost thirty years ago. It was, hands down, Natalie Portman's best role and one of Jean Reno's best roles. Jean Reno was great in the roles of disturbed assassins, just like Gary Oldman was with his psychopaths. Maybe they suited them too much because they both got typecast in them. True, the story wasn't exactly a brain exercise, but without torture, I admit that I didn't care at all because I really enjoyed the central, strongly mismatched duo. There was definitely a certain nostalgia involved. / Lesson learned: Take extra care of your best friend.

This seems to be an authentic Czech controversial film because the ratings of the users I follow cover almost the entire scale. A one-star rating was missing, but I quickly fixed that, and now it's complete. The humor was there, but the creators pushed it too much, to the point of wearing it thin. However, there were still moments here and there that made me laugh, so the film wasn't a complete flop, even though the screenwriter tried. Jakub Kohák has become a symbol of low quality for me; however, Ondřej Sokol balanced the situation. I didn't like him until recently, but I have become quite fond of his cheeky face. / "Those who won't bring anything tomorrow won't see the Big Bang." / Lesson learned: If you want to see mind triumph over matter, you will like this film.

I had some concerns about the new Bosch because the creators significantly changed the original series' storyline. To my surprise, they managed to eliminate most of the obstacles they had previously created and put together a story in which I quickly recognized both of Connelly's books on which it was based. I'm not saying it was flawless (far from it), but it exceeded my expectations, and I'm looking forward to the next season. / Lesson learned: When characters who were supposed to be dead long ago are still alive, it's time to improvise.

I'm giving the tenth episode four stars despite some screenwriting clichés. I don't know whether to laugh or cry when the creators of a movie or series create a character of a perfect killer who will shoot a sprinting squirrel in the eye from fifty meters away (with a pistol/revolver), only to fail spectacularly in a fight with the protagonist. And one more detail. I don't think emptying a magazine into elevator doors or an empty bed is a sign of professionalism. I would bet on nervousness instead. Apart from this standard nonsense, the creators of the first season managed to reach a decent conclusion, closed what they could, and prepared a window for the next season to sneak in. / Lesson learned: Don't count shots. Count weapons.

The previous episode was partly propaganda, but the creators returned to what is essential in the ninth episode. It brings me joy that they stick to the original material (when possible). What I don't feel good about is the investigation of the series of rapes. This way, the LAPD will no longer need detectives in the future, and newbies from the Academy will solve cases. This storyline was not handled very well; otherwise, I was satisfied. / Lesson learned: Sometimes, you must fully immerse yourself in searching for evidence.

The eighth episode wasn't bad. Even though it wasn't exactly eventful, I wasn't bored.  / Lesson learned: Even good news can result in bad outcomes.

I'm giving this one star. Not that there was any reason for satisfaction; it's just that I have seen much worse lately. I am firmly convinced that Czech filmmakers cannot make a thriller that doesn't look silly, but I am also equally sure they can make a good comedy or drama. They can, but not all of them. Well, those who made this emotionless drama probably weren't able to. It was an emotionally flat story that didn't make me hate the main villain or root for the main heroine and left me completely indifferent. I used to like Vilma Cibulková, but for some time now, I have felt that her characters are either emotionally flat or overly dramatic. Nothing in between. What a shame. The protagonist was very dull; the whole group of women would be more suitable for a bad comedy and don't even get me started on Pavel Kříž. Besides not making me feel anything, the film also had the biggest weakness of the current Czech film production - pathetic dialogue. / Lesson learned: Always cast the ashes downwind.

What an abomination. After just ten minutes, I was engaged in a fierce internal struggle, desperately wanting to turn it off but also not wanting to admit defeat. I gathered all my strength, pulled myself together, and made it to the bitter end. The plot was absolutely groundbreaking, with the city moving to the countryside, something that has never been seen before. Four screenwriters put together such a farce the likes of which you can otherwise encounter only in Eva Toulová's films. A spoiled Instagram influencer and a veterinarian without couscous are the sad heroes of this story. The idiotic plot and demented dialogue were brilliantly complemented by actors whom I don't like: Mišík, Černocká, Hrachovcová, Latinák, and especially Linda Rybová. It was a highly unpleasant experience that I would never voluntarily repeat. / No lessons learned this time. I just have a question: Why Dominika Myslivcová?

It is interesting how the creators of Bosch: Legacy are trying to stick to the book and how they are mainly limited in this effort because they have deviated from the author's stories in Bosch. I currently find this spin-off more impressive than some of the seasons of Bosch, and I am glad because I was apprehensive about Legacy. The seventh episode was great. All plotlines are heading in an exciting direction. I just missed the three Russian mobsters because I had nothing to laugh at without them. / Lesson learned: Don't get into a car with a stranger, especially not with two of them.