Malarkey

I feel like this movie wasn’t all that bad, right? It might have been produced by the Switzerland and the RSA, which is just weird for a Viking era movie, but on the other hand, it had gorgeous nature and the movie’s made Vikings into such charming dudes that even a kitten might lose against them. It was perfectly mediocre. It wasn’t bad at all, but it wasn’t smart either.

An interesting premise based on high-quality acting performances and certain American ignorance.

This movie wants to be close to the game itself, but then Hitman is played by an actor with the longest “hair” on his head (that Agent 47 ever had) and with the charisma of a hamster in a nightgown.

The filmmakers are lucky that the Romanian Carpathians are gorgeous mountains, because if it weren’t for those, it’d tell this movie to go… to the trash.

Every now and then, I watch something that leaves me speechless. I’m so bewitched – in a good way – that I’m completely smitten. I had this exact feeling after watching the contemporary gangster movie Suburra. The harsh fates of individual characters of different standings are connected by a monstrous construction of a future complex with a casino on the edge of Rome in such a precise way that I was dumbstruck. The directors have skillfully incorporated interesting characters into the vicious cycle of the mafia history and by doing so, they closed an important chapter of the contemporary Italian underground. Some of the scenes were more brutal, some of them less. But all of them were predominated by this disgusting loss of humanity that was always supported by a strange unearthly music of the French band M38 and it amplified the entire story, which felt as if it was happening on a different planet altogether.

I’ve been watching Benno for a long time and I haven’t ever seen anyone talk about hockey in Bad Tölz, even though it’s such a popular sport in Germany. And suddenly in the first scene, Benno and his mom are watching the local team’s big match on the TV. It all goes south when the police call his hotline, saying there’s been a murder in town. The fact that the local hockey club had something to do with it must have been obvious to any idiot at that point.  And so begins a classic investigation over a 16-ounce glass of beer in the office with a risk of even Wachtmeister Pfeiffer getting a red nose from how drunk he is. But it all ends well. As it always does.

For a long time now, I’ve been thinking that the magical Prague would be a suitable candidate for any story with Indiana Jones or Nicolas Cage where they have to find a historical artifact. But neither of them has been to Prague yet, so I was left with the mysterious Bořivoj Navrátil and a group of three children who went to the center of Prague (and Zvíkov Castle) in the movie Maharal to discover something that should have been forgotten a long time ago. The story might be a bit crazy, as expected, but the beautiful camerawork and actors who really enjoyed filming this children’s adventure make up for everything. I was thinking about the rating and it has slightly dropped because of the silly ending. In the end, I’m rating it solid three stars and I’m excited that these stories get filmed around here every now and then.

I understand the enthusiasm about this movie after having watched it, but its brutal gloom, insincerity and impersonality combined with zero emotions towards the main investigator character made it difficult for me to even finish the movie at all. A very harsh (even in human terms disgusting) story takes place in a dark gray environment where there’s nothing positive and cannot ever be. What can I say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it. However, I admit that Belgium surprised me to come up with such a movie.

I just don’t get why Luc Besson felt the need to refuel The Transporter. And just formally at that. Because this has nothing to do with the original Transporter. The main character is atrocious and the story is a load of bullcrap. For example, I still don’t get why those three chicks in those blond wigs kept hanging around the transporter. But the action and fight scenes were decent. They might have been awfully overdone, but not so much as the second or the third one was. Imagine any car chase in the game series Need For Speed and you’ll understand just how very overdone they are. Everything else was a C-grade mess.

A rough human piece with a child as the main character whom the whole story revolves around and who doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. If you have a family, this movie will make you feel sick to your stomach; and if you don’t, you’ll still feel sick. But not because of the actors whose performances were very solid, including the kid.