House on Haunted Hill

Oh, that was another waste of time. Unlikeable characters led by an eccentric millionaire whom I would love to kill with my own hands, a confusing and illogical plot and a final surprise in the form of a CGI monster that ruined it completely. A lot more could have been done with that house. It’s a shame. (17/11/2007)

Director William Malone and screenwriter Dick Beeb turned the original story into a shithouse. I would have absolutely nothing against new ideas, it was clear that the original plot needed to be spiced up for the remake, but not in this way, because this is a completely inadequate and poor imitation of the original. The start is promising, but with each passing minute spent in the House on Haunted Hill, it is an ever-increasing plethora of the worst horror tropes that the creators could have hijacked, not to mention outright horribly written dialogue and "in no way" defined and developed characters. An exception is an eccentric millionaire played by Geoffrey Rush – whose amusing mischievousness warrants at least one star. In all other respects, it is an ugly filthy mess with a zero atmosphere, which the lighting electricians must have tried somehow to artificially drive with constant flashes and ubiquitous strangely flickering sharp lights. Co-producer Terry Castle certainly failed to pay homage to her father's memory. (30/01/2020)