Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

Godzilla is enjoying a vacation in Europe and Kong is looking for more apes in the hollow earth and has a toothache. A modern version of the Verne films, which degenerates into unadulterated Kaiju-porn at the end. Swashbuckling battles, solid visual effects, 80's soundtrack backed by Holkenborg synths, tremendous destruction and people who don't get in the way but are props for the main fighters. It's rubbish and digital crap, of course, but it's fun and even in neon colours with a pink Godzilla who justifies the change by sucking out nuclear power plants in Europe to fulfil his part of the Green Deal. It's got a bunch of subliminal messages. The villain is OK, but the main asset is Adam Wingard's wacky ideas, which somehow manage to get implemented. The most entertaining entry in the franchise. (29/04/2024)

Kong Skull Island remains unsurpassed in this modern Monterverse. If I were 15 I'd be cheering with joy, today it's just a pure washout that, while it doesn't hurt to see in the cinema and doesn't outright offend, there can be no question of any great enthusiasm. When the film kept it down to earth, it was fine. The clash of the apes was quite reminiscent of Planet of the Apes and visually it's quite nice, unfortunately the human characters once again trip it up, they're redundant and slow the story down. By the end, the film was a digital mess, with lights flying from pink to white, and I'm not really into that anymore. Too bad the whole movie didn't take place in the Hollow Earth with no humans, just Kong and monsters, that would have been nice! 6/10. (07/04/2024)

The Hollywood blockbuster has finally developed into the form of pure camp. For many years I dreamed that a movie consisting of pure, unadulterated silliness would come along and displace the would-be sombre and fanboyishly over-clever spectacles. The New Empire is aware of its own silliness and roguishly cranks it up. So here we have phantasmagorical technobabble, exceedingly stupid human characters, superficially calculated twists and paper-rustling peripeteias, but everything fits beautifully into the overall colourfully crazy world where the boneheaded alternative hollow-earth theories become their own absurd caricature. This papier-mâché  puppet theatre then gets perfectly trampled by a full range of giant monsters. The human characters are relegated solely to the role of narrative crutches that bridge the monsters’ individual storylines, for which purpose they utter absurd nonsense. The monsters have finally have broken free from western individualism and human exclusivity. The New Empire turns the genre’s perspective back to its Japanese kaiju roots, thus making the titular titans the main characters and bearers of both the narrative and the overarching point of view. The character that guides the audience’s perspective is not one of the ant-like humans with their insignificant plans, but a mini-Kong. Of course, I remember almost nothing about the film just a day after the screening, but I know that during my ride on this roller coaster, my eyes were glued to the screen just like when I saw the goofiest kaiju movies from the delirious sixties. P.S.: My perverse dream is for Werner Herzog to deliver the special commentary on the Blu-ray release. (29/03/2024)

It's interesting to see what direction American films about Godzilla, Kong and the other kaiju monsters involved have taken over the decade: While Gareth Edwards' Godzilla tried (and at times quite successfully) to add some artistic value, the current film about the giant lizard and an equally giant ape is essentially one big, mindless, ultra-action carnage where the main goal is to entertain the moviegoer - ideally one that filters out the human dialogue and focuses purely on the action. And thankfully, there's plenty of that action in New Empire, and while the logic often gets lost underneath the colourful visuals, the film can be forgiven for that, as it doesn't even pretend to be a deep reflection on the titans' relationship with humans and with themselves. The film's lower budget is quite noticeable in places, which is a shame – I felt this most acutely with Scar King. I also could have done without the characters of the "amateur grand-dentist" and Mr. Conspirator, whom I found somewhat redundant. But if you accept the rules of a film in which anything can happen (literally, really) – the "anti-gravity sequence" speaks for itself – you will certainly not be bored in the cinema. (17/04/2024)

In Hollow Earth, Kong discovers a civilization terrorized by a giant monster, and since he's no match for it, he must join forces with Godzilla. And all the while, things are going horribly wrong. The new entry into the Monsterverse is utter bollocks, except that director Adam Wingard fills it with lots of cool fights, a nicely colored world, and doesn't waste any time. The two hours are a fine loud action flush. That's all it is. But that's all anyone could hope for. (28/03/2024)