House

A quote from the Bible at the beginning, followed by one layer of clichés on top of another, the transparent natures of the characters who are unsympathetic assholes to boot, a terrible boring hour and a bit, and an idiotic finale with a moronic point and a laughing Michael Madsen at the end. But even that poor guy can't improve it whatsoever. Well, that’s that. (10/01/2009)

It’s a pity that this hotchpotch had such a nice trailer, my disappointment is very big because of it. The first thirty minutes or so promise some slightly above-par entertainment, but the moment the theme shifts from “masked killer” to “magic house”, all the tension goes to hell, the characters lose whatever judgement they had left and horror fans get bored because what happens on screen is neither scary nor bloody. Before the botched ending, though, I was still considering three stars, but that twist was too much. If it was the first time it was used, it would be great, a second time could be inspiration, but a third time is already a rip-off, and House is at least the fifth film that has used it. So, instead of the trailers, trust the awful poster. (23/10/2008)