2012

Five minutes of fun are always ruined by half an hour of boring and incredibly dull bollocks. Where are the days of Independence Day and Godzilla? They didn’t have such megalomaniac destruction, but their stories held together and they were fun and tense throughout. If we consider the contents, the runtime of 2012 is so excessive that by the end (or rather, the last hour) it was hard for me to refrain from doing something else and leave the film on as background noise. Maybe it’s good for the undemanding audience craving for a CGI orgy, but I’m unable to turn off my brain thoroughly enough to say the same. (03/12/2009)

Better than The Day After Tomorrow and a tiny bit weaker than Independence Day. You have to accept Emmerich's game of "let the protagonists escape everything and solve everything at the last second", watch the screen, marvel and have fun. This film can be best described as: A perfect visual and sound orgy. The special effects are something truly unreal (and let's face it, they're the ones that attract most people to 2012) - the destruction of California, the Yellowstone volcano eruption, the flight and landing of a giant Russian plane, the Ark... Of course there are the ubiquitous allusions to the Bible, God and religion of all kinds (my favorite is the crack in the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel that appears between "those two fingers"), but the actors are also a delight. Cusack is standard, therefore good, Woody Harrelson enjoys his "nutcase" perfectly, Glover's president is quite folksy, but you still feel authority from him. Unforgettable, however, is the Russian Zlatko Burić (and his two prides - Antonov and Bentley)... Bottom line: 2012 is one of the funniest clichés I've ever seen, and I'll definitely go see it again and gladly. The 158 minutes went by suspiciously fast. Avatar, you lost this one. (13/11/2009)

The potential for fun is utilized to the maximum in 2012. The individual scenes are clichés, but as a whole they take the story through not entirely predictable paths and give us more than we’ve seen in the trailers. I didn’t feel for a moment that the movie tries to look more serious than it should – Roland Emmerich is surprisingly able to balance every absurdity with an adequate dose of humor (the ride through L.A. in a limousine that, among other things, gets splashed by the contents of a gully sucker, is a pure comedy that has no place in a disaster movie), but he’s also able to impress (amazing tidal waves). But what most surprised me about 2012 and made me give it four stars (and no, it wasn’t the special effects, which were mediocre in places, and definitely not the cheap digital-camera look that we might have to get used to even with big-budget eye-candy movies) is the political approach: the least ethical figure in the film is the US government big shot, the rich are criticized for saving their necks at the expense of the workers, and this time the world’s salvation is not the American flag, but a full-screen map with the word “CHINA” written on it. The American flag is rather ridiculed thanks to the comical character played by Woody Harrelson (in a great scene on a hill with a valley view). And every big nation/continent is represented by either an aptly written and cast supporting character (the Russian family of three and their dog are my favorites) or at least symbolically mentioned (Africa...). 2012 is a blockbuster disaster flick that is so audience-friendly that it, together with its high entertaining value, managed to worm its way into my heart. And I don’t give a crap that Mona Lisa is overlooking the Eiffel Tower from the Louvre in the film. ___ Second viewing: I wish Emmerich was a big shot politician – then there’d be no wars and everyone would just amicably hold each other’s hand (and go to the movies). This movie is just overflowing with his love for old Hollywood adventure/disaster flicks. The ultimate guilty pleasure. (05/11/2009)

A lot of nice effects popped up, but the stupid story is just unforgivable. The whole world revolves around John Cusack, who drives under a falling skyscraper to escape all manner of disasters on air, land and sea by a hair’s breadth a hundred different times. Not to mention the unnatural reactions of his entire family. A long, long waste of time. A weak 2 stars. (22/12/2012)

For the first two hours, I figured I wouldn't give it full stars just because the American president Roger Murtaugh didn't declare "I’m too old for this shit!" at the sight of a rolling wave. During the third hour, I wondered why Emmerich had to add a bonus to his "best-of" that would make it hard for me to give it three stars. Yet my happy feelings prevailed. Together with Kloser, they know how to make fun of themselves, foreign policy, and genre mischief, which they’ve pulled off countless times before. Although the ending (the most boring thing this "most American German" ever made) will stay with me for a long time, the over-the-top special effects orgy, fine actors, and actually the whole overblown atmosphere will keep it at four stars. However, a second watch on DVD doesn't add to that. (18/11/2009)