2012

For the first two hours, I figured I wouldn't give it full stars just because the American president Roger Murtaugh didn't declare "I’m too old for this shit!" at the sight of a rolling wave. During the third hour, I wondered why Emmerich had to add a bonus to his "best-of" that would make it hard for me to give it three stars. Yet my happy feelings prevailed. Together with Kloser, they know how to make fun of themselves, foreign policy, and genre mischief, which they’ve pulled off countless times before. Although the ending (the most boring thing this "most American German" ever made) will stay with me for a long time, the over-the-top special effects orgy, fine actors, and actually the whole overblown atmosphere will keep it at four stars. However, a second watch on DVD doesn't add to that. (18/11/2009)

I always enjoyed Emmerich’s megalomanic demolition of our Mother Earth, and the promise that this time destruction would be ultimate left my humanity-hating self excited to the max. The trailer massage did not disappoint and the movie in itself came up to my expectations. Don’t get me wrong, it is complete bullshit, with a stupid script, but it has a certain charm. The “last minute" escapes are just mouth watering. The whole driving through L. A. scene is so ridiculously cheesy and cool, it may well make it into my TOP movie scenes. When there’s no destruction going on, we have great actors who are fun to watch. I strongly recommend watching 2012 in a movie theater. Same as with all destruction movies. - Whoa, that’s a big plane. - It’s Russian. (20/11/2009)

Five minutes of fun are always ruined by half an hour of boring and incredibly dull bollocks. Where are the days of Independence Day and Godzilla? They didn’t have such megalomaniac destruction, but their stories held together and they were fun and tense throughout. If we consider the contents, the runtime of 2012 is so excessive that by the end (or rather, the last hour) it was hard for me to refrain from doing something else and leave the film on as background noise. Maybe it’s good for the undemanding audience craving for a CGI orgy, but I’m unable to turn off my brain thoroughly enough to say the same. (03/12/2009)

Emmerich as a director cannot be surprised, because he is essentially monothematic. His strengths and weaknesses are intimately known to the audience, so even his latest film should be avoided by anyone expecting something more than bombastic effects and action. His conception of the end of the world can be immensely attacked and ridiculed from intellectual positions. As is traditional for him, he resigns on even the most basic logic in his storytelling, boldly using the most cliched genre schemes, unabashedly stuffing his film with all possible pop-cultural symbols from Princess Diana to Mona Lisa. The dialogues are stupid, and as is customary for him, it is heavily American patriotic, permeated with family values, the plot is predictable, and the characters are clearly readable. From the very beginning, experienced viewers can infer which characters will survive and which will be deservedly punished for their "sins." On the other hand, if one looks at his film with detachment, despite all its stupidity, it is entertaining, decently ticking along, and well cast both in terms of types and acting performances. It's definitely not a film I would have the slightest desire to revisit in the future, but as a popcorn treat, it is bearable in one viewing. Overall impression: 50%. (13/12/2009)

Better than The Day After Tomorrow and a tiny bit weaker than Independence Day. You have to accept Emmerich's game of "let the protagonists escape everything and solve everything at the last second", watch the screen, marvel and have fun. This film can be best described as: A perfect visual and sound orgy. The special effects are something truly unreal (and let's face it, they're the ones that attract most people to 2012) - the destruction of California, the Yellowstone volcano eruption, the flight and landing of a giant Russian plane, the Ark... Of course there are the ubiquitous allusions to the Bible, God and religion of all kinds (my favorite is the crack in the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel that appears between "those two fingers"), but the actors are also a delight. Cusack is standard, therefore good, Woody Harrelson enjoys his "nutcase" perfectly, Glover's president is quite folksy, but you still feel authority from him. Unforgettable, however, is the Russian Zlatko Burić (and his two prides - Antonov and Bentley)... Bottom line: 2012 is one of the funniest clichés I've ever seen, and I'll definitely go see it again and gladly. The 158 minutes went by suspiciously fast. Avatar, you lost this one. (13/11/2009)