Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Not convincing Gemma Arterton to show her tits is utterly petty of Wirkola and foreshadows other ills. Thought the direction, like Dead Snow, is total anarchy (meant as a positive) that doesn't particularly worry about time, space, sequence, or characters, Hansel and Gretel often fails in its guilty pleasure potential. That is to say, the main sibling duo don't sleep together, though it seems headed that way several times, no children die, and the violence doesn't cross a certain threshold. On the other hand, the unbelievably long and retarded monologues of the main witch, who still has all of her members even two minutes after she opens her mouth, which is grossly inconsistent with the characters' approach to anything else, are outrageous. The action scenes are somewhat reminiscent of a video game in their conception (the witch running away from Renner and throwing various adversities in his path that he must overcome; the girl at the stationary machine gun trying to mow down all the witches in front of her, who come flying in from different directions) which I have no problem with, but overall I'm sorry that a scene like the one with the Gingerbread Man in The Brothers Grimm was more WTF than this entire movie. (06/03/2013)

It's likeable bollocks that moves at a giant pace, doesn't take itself seriously and indulges the male audience with an attraction named Gemma Arterton, but on the other hand it doesn't have a shred of atmosphere and fails to evoke the slightest concern for the characters. The formal execution itself is interesting (especially in relation to the nature of the story of Hansel and Gretel), but it's not so good when it comes to the details and action scenes. One time and that’s enough. (27/05/2013)

The Norwegian rookie isn't afraid of big production. Throw in some good looking actors, a few gore shots and camera finesse like the thrice as expensive and much more bloated Van Helsing and off we go. 90 minutes of non-stop fun and entertainment, or Hansel and Gretel for adults and lovers of an alternative approach to the classics. Sure, it's bullshit, but the signature and commitment of the creators is very likeable. (28/01/2017)

Reminded me more of The Exorcist than Hansel and Gretel... I recommend showing it to your kids at bedtime if you have a morbid desire to change their diapers even at puberty. Otherwise, it’s an ordinary action movie that tried to have funny lines but didn't really succeed. It's a weird mishmash of all sorts of things, but it's watchable. (03/01/2014)

Brutal, crazy, effective and fun small-scale movie. On the other hand, it’s such a simple movie that it doesn’t really have a deeper message. The story has zero telling value and it’s all created for one single reason – to entertain the viewer – successfully so. Which is no surprise considering it has Jeremy Renner in the lead role of Hansel who has to inject himself with insulin because the Witch used to stuff him full of candy when he was a kid and now he’s lucky to still be alive. On the other side, there’s Gemma Arterton who got incredibly hot since Prince of Persia, which is thanks to latex, but also thanks to her cool lines and the overall toughness and edginess of both Hansel and Gretel. In any case, this was the perfect entertainment for 87 minutes. (06/06/2013)