The Expendables 2

“My shoe is bigger than this car!” Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Ed Wood of Hollywood actors. Hardly any film this year will bring me more delight and a bigger testosterone rush than The Expendables 2, an inane B-movie with cheap digital effects and great catchphrases and genre references. And the fact that the best actor playing the movie’s best character is Jean-Claude Van Damme will go down in history. (04/11/2012)

With the passing of a few weeks, I cooled off and took a star off. I really liked the first film better, I expected more room for Arnold Schwarzenegger, some of the lines felt forced, the plot slowed down unexpectedly after the bombastic beginning and Chuck Norris appeared in The Expendables 2 probably mainly to prove to the non-believers that he is real and not imaginary... But the stunning finale gave me absolutely everything I wanted. (11/10/2012)

I understand the general enthusiasm because seeing all those legends together has a unique feeling. Unfortunately, when I take into account that a film has qualities and attributes other than the cast and the chemistry between the actors (which would exist even if they just looked at each other), it is a failure overall. Simon West seems to have forgotten what a quality action film should be like. I'll overlook the terrible television picture quality (retro and all) and the locations somewhere between Romania and Bulgaria (hello Van Damme and Seagal). If The Expendables had action as good as Con Air had 15 years ago, I would be thrilled, but unfortunately, it’s not even half as good. The editing very confusing, nobody knows who is shooting whom, there are several repeated shots within a few minutes, and woefully confusing fights, except for the last one. I wouldn't expect a purely action film to have its biggest weakness precisely in the action. Stallone is still a cool and the lines and jokes are fine, but I would rather watch three of each guy's best films and not have to look at such a mess. (16/09/2012)

I have mixed feelings. On one hand, things that I always wanted to see, on the other exaggerated prancing about for female fans and zero story. Arnold’s lines are way off. Norris tells jokes about himself and the whole thing is very forced, and not in a good way. The greatest positive element here is Van Damme who enjoys being evil. Anytime he walks into shot, it’s worth it. In the finale, Sly makes the most of how pissed he was that he didn’t land a role in part one. :-) West’s directing is visually high standard, but in places the action is confusing and very little of it is interesting. Jet Li is gone in an instant, luckily we see more of Dolph. I’m giving this four stars, but purely out of blind fandom. Otherwise, someone deserves a slap for the credits. (13/09/2012)

Much more polished than the rather dull first instalment, mainly because the script relies more on lightness and instead of conforming to standard action tropes, it turns them into a big joke. Although most of the credit goes to the protagonists themselves, who embody their career alter egos with admirable verve and insight (Norris's crazy cameo reigns supreme), and the story is downright slapdash when it comes to some dialogue and personal levels, the action is so good and well-paced and the villains, led by the cold-blooded JCVD, are so hilarious that you simply won't be bored. This time, satisfaction. (05/08/2018)