Jupiter Ascending

I was sort of hoping that the Wachowskis wouldn’t pour 200 million dollars into a black hole and so I’ve been ignoring the reviews around here before I watched the movie myself. I played it with excitement and within a few minutes, I got into a phase where I would have probably immediately turned it off if it weren’t for the beautiful space shots and effects, because the story is totally out of it. At first, the very first shootout reminded me of Star Wars, then the space scenes moved more towards Star Trek and then Channing Tatum popped onto the screen to explain that he’s a werewolf from outer space. It really couldn’t have been any dumber and I’ve never seen a more idiotic movie with such a high budget. (19/06/2015)

This is bad, bad. The story is so stupid and without ideas... Lana and Andy just played that it will all look great, which it does, but it didn't impress me. Their "Matrix" was full of thoughts, sometimes so much that one got lost in it and it didn't work the best, but in this case it's just too empty and without any good idea. Yes, there is mythology created here, but what is happening here is simply too much of nothing. And Mila Kunis has a really annoying character here. (23/04/2015)

Too bad about the idiotic script and zero character motivation. The reason to watch the Wachowskis' films, besides the many clever ideas and often interesting innovations in various aspects, is the visuals, and unfortunately that's also the only thing that really works reliably here. But what to do when all those aesthetically intoxicating, almost bizarrely Victorian sets and worlds look so stunning and yet the film is such crap? Surprisingly, the Tatum & Kunis chemistry works above average but it’s cheesy. (25/10/2015)

For me, probably the guilty pleasure of the year. The film is aesthetically unattractive, with a leading villain that takes it all the way to 11 and a very incompetent casting. When Mila Kunis tries to look serious, it simply doesn’t work… but when she tries to drop one-liners, it’s almost painful. Only the core premise of planets as people factory-farms or fuel to keep the vitality of the galactic rulers had some potential, but this time the Wachowskis were unable to exploit it. On the other hand, I must confess that, in its own way, this crap was actually fun. (03/05/2015)

I didn't expect much, but I got more than enough. Fabulous sci-fi trash in the best sense of the word (in short, a full-fledged successor to 1980's Flash Gordon), set in an absolutely amazing world and almost constantly entertaining. Hand on heart, it's not much different from the much-vaunted Marvel movies. True, there could have been a little more perspective (crop circles and space bureaucrats with Terry Gilliam amused me immensely), but then Jupiter Ascending could also have turned into an awkward comedy, which the Wachowskis (after Speed Racer, thank God) clearly didn't intend. The action scenes are superbly engaging, the special effects are lavish, everything is nicely clear and understandable, but perhaps the most pleasing thing for me was Michael Giacchino's bombastic music and its judicious use, which makes it not really stick out from the film , but it is not simply neglected either. Four pure stars and I'll probably go to the cinema again (I'll put on Flash Gordon before that happens). (06/02/2015)