Alien: Covenant

A film where someone alternately screams hysterically in confusing scenes and alternately philosophizes about the issues of the space game show quiz in far too clear shots. Everyone behaves so erratically that the Prometheus crew reminds of professors of logic on a trip to the land of the eight-way. After a totally WTF birth scene, I decided that Alien had just died for me. One star for Franco's compression without having to utter a bare sentence on board. That is the right decision. The only one. (15/05/2017)

Nope. Ridley Scott didn't make another Alien, he made another Prometheus. And what didn't work in the first one still doesn't work here, and maybe even more so. The characters are even duller, half of them are practically there just to die, and there's really no personality to speak of. On top of that, Katherine Waterston is an utterly insipid and unimaginative female lead. And unfortunately Ridley has this whole boring bunch babbling, sniffing things on an unknown planet, getting lost, splitting up and dying in such an undignified way that the word "cliché" doesn't even begin to describe it. Scott is still trying to make a movie with transcendence; philosophical, religious and thought-provoking, but again, the whole thing is dull at best and usually laughable, just like the villain David. It doesn't work as a horror film, it doesn't even want to do much, and the whole thing felt like a movie in which the aliens appear more or less only because it can't be called Prometheus 2. What you love about Alien, you don't get here. Because the senile Scott is going head to head with the wall and has probably decided to finish his Prometheus saga despite the fact that nobody really wants it. (15/05/2017)

After the light-footed The Martian, I assumed that Scott's age is just a number that comes from subtracting the number on his ID card from the number on the calendar, so I wouldn't blame it on senility. Rather (and this is worse), I attribute it to creative indiscipline and an overgrown ego that has become a tumor of a uniquely creative mind that neither respects the canon nor offers a new approach. The opening is confusing and the characters have no background, so we're following a group of really, really stupid assholes. The plot is very transparent, with the banal (the bloody mess) taking precedence over what is in fact really interesting - and in terms of the development of the series - more important (the creature). Scott wants to impress, but the character of David could stand in for Kryten in Red Dwarf, so instead of holding your breath, you're both laughing and cursing through your teeth. Visual variety, Scott's long-standing asset that has saved many a film, is also absent, with this often looking like a more expensive episode of Stargate, which is the level where the rest of the film actually belongs in terms of its quality. PS: Kurzel's audio is a dark nervous fantasy that the film is not worthy of. (13/07/2017)

Someone finally understood the kind of role that viewers would like to see James Franco play. Unfortunately, it involves the only moment when the film allows itself to be concise. Like Prometheus, Alien: Covenant is torn between an effort to provide first-rate fan service through a return to the horror roots of the first Alien (which is referenced through conspicuous allusions) and the ambition to be epic (with captivating shots like those found in Ford’s westerns) and deep-thinking sci-fi along the lines of Stanley Kubrick (to which it comes closest with its minimalist prologue). Following the formula of a mediocre 1980s (i.e. pre-Scream) slasher flick, with characters making the most basic mistakes (climbing and looking where they shouldn’t, often alone rather than in a group, having sex with each other), it is thus impeded by discussions on chance, fate and creation (Mother and various fathers play a role here), which suffer from the same lack of development as the colonisation storyline. The new Alien is paradoxically a good film until an alien appears in it. It works relatively well until the landing on the alien planet, as it offers a number of possibilities for the direction that the narrative could take and for a long time it isn’t clear which one the filmmakers will take. For example, the conflicts between faith and science, between the captain and Daniels (instead of cross around her neck, she wears a bolt, which comes in handy later) start out promisingly, whereas we see an android playing the flute and reciting Shelley in the second half, which, although fascinating thanks to Fassbender, is a somewhat different theme and a slightly different film. Scott is suddenly much more fascinated by the artificial beings and aliens than by the humans with whom we have spent nearly an hour of the film (however, the pairing-off of the characters doesn’t much help the viewer’s emotional involvement, because for a long time it isn’t clear who is sleeping with whom), and he starts to address all of the complex questions of existence by biting off hands and tearing off heads. This smart-looking film thus becomes a goofy (but entertaining) action-horror B-movie with some rather disgusting gore effects, which I didn't entirely care for, especially thanks to the likeable Katherine Waterston (though an android remains the only well-developed character). Though the new Alien is inventively constructed, looks great and offers one very well-made action scene (with an axe), it comes across as half-baked in most respects, as if there wasn’t time and space to flesh out many of the ideas (I consider the inorganically incorporated flashback, which could have been replaced by dialogue, to be not only an example of tremendous screenwriting laziness, but also a sign that the whole thing could have worked better if the film had paid more heed to the point of view of the reminiscing character). 55% (16/05/2017)

Ridley Scott stands at the threshold between a spiritual continuation of Prometheus and an honest addition to alien encounters. He is slightly more successful in the first case, when I forget to breathe during the dialogue of two androids, my brain is racing in a pensive atmosphere at full speed, and somewhere in the background, a quiet voice whispers to me that many people will hate this chapter precisely because of those calm passages. The bloody meetings with the legendary adversary surprisingly do not have as much space as the trailer campaign promised, which explains the incomprehensible departures of viewers from the cinema long before the true beginning of the uncompromising confrontation. Because I have long admired the entire mythology of the xenomorphs and I happily watched Prometheus twice five years ago, I remain content. However, I am saddened that there was so little missing for the highest rating, specifically a slightly unfortunate necessity of a dramatic arc that Alien: Covenant must close in a separate chapter. I would easily leave the plot and mood scissors open even wider, and I would completely put the editor's scissors aside, because two hours are really not enough for perfect immersion. (18/05/2017)