Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

With the end of the saga, the time has come to remember the man who started it all and who is only artfully recalled here and there so as not to be mentioned – see the nostalgic promo videos perfectly crafted by Disney's marketing team to create the impression that the saga now finally belongs to the fans and that the fans conclude it for the fans (thus Lucas is found there in the grand total of only one shot). It is fascinating how the corporation succeeded in cutting George Lucas, who had always been mentioned in the same breath with the franchise, off from Lucasfilm within a few years of acquiring the brand. Lucas was not only the creator, but also a malevolent god who does whatever he pleases with the films and ignores the prayers of the fanatical admirers of his work. This distant memory makes a refreshing impression today, when we conversely live in an era when marketing campaigns and the entire PR product are often more important, powerful and characteristically even more expensive than the blockbusters that they promote, and when the films themselves are made according to PR plans and not on the basis of any vision or ambition. How paradoxical it is that the cleverly designed return of the saga to the fans and, furthermore, the evident subordination to their taste gave rise to the most unforgettable and most unanimously panned film of the entire series. If the highlight of the series still remains the fifth (strongly atypical in the context of the whole saga) episode with its outstanding narrative structure, which perfectly alternates between the environment and the characters so that it never gets bogged down, then the ninth instalment, following the example of its hyperjumps, rushes to cram as many elements as possible into its monumental runtime. However, the resulting effect is merely a blur of colour from which nothing remains at the end of the closing credits. I vaguely recall that the ninth film nullified (seemingly) everything innovative and fresh from the previous episode and replaced it with nonstop fan service, which made even hardcore fans nauseous. But, as is the case with few films, you have to see it in the cinema, because you will not get the gradual disappearance of the crowd’s enthusiasm and incredulous cries and outbursts of desperate laughter anywhere else. Personally, I decided that I wanted Porgs, Ewoks, Jawas and Gungans to be present at the end of the saga, so I am 75% satisfied with the film. (22/12/2019)

Disney reap what they sow, and it's not a pretty sight. Episode VII bet on nostalgia, so I've forgiven the new boring protagonists. Episode VIII took a different direction, but the studio found they didn't like where it went. So in Episode IX they try to fix everything from the previous film and we're with Rey, Kylo Ren, Poe and Finn for the third time and they're actually still utterly boring and empty characters. And now, as a viewer, I am supposed to be interested to see how they turn out. I just don't give a shit. J.J. Abrams isn't actually wrapping up a trilogy here, his main job is to clean up the mess that came from not knowing what they wanted at Disney. He may have done the best job he could, but that doesn't change the fact that whenever there’s no action and Rise of Skywalker attempts some emotion and relationships, it's awfully boring and annoying. The movie has no foundation to build on in that regard and out of desperation even has to make up new rules for how the world works. And yet it fails to evoke any emotion other than a sense of giant disappointment. The ninth Star Wars did succeed at something I didn't think could ever be accomplished. They stifled my enthusiasm for the franchise. I sure as hell hope not forever. (19/12/2019)

So I've been kicking it around in my head and I’m going to stick with the highest rating. I got everything I'd expect from a new Star Wars installment, the original atmosphere wasn't compromised, and actually the whole thing was enjoyable to watch. I can understand diehard fans being annoyed that the filmmakers are accommodating the viewer so much, making the legend more readable for those who only come to the film by chance. But isn't that kind of a logical step? We can debate whether it's right or not. For me, it's a weaker 5 stars. (18/12/2019)

An undeniable roller coaster, where you jump at such a speed throughout this universe that I don't even have time to stop, admire, or absorb the atmosphere of the new location or the old one. At the same time, this naturally means that there's nearly two and a half hours of shooting, fighting, or explaining, and you never get a chance to catch your breath. Fortunately, what you learn in between the jumps works for me. I've had a weakness for Reylo from the very beginning, so I swallow up the development of their relationship and abilities with enthusiasm, and I would like to see even more. More than ever, the rest are just a supporting cast for this couple, but fortunately, they are truly funny and imaginative, especially Poe, because it's clear that Oscar Isaac is really enjoying this role. I was most afraid of the return of the old familiar villain, who has had enough presence throughout the entire saga, but luckily his presence makes sense in tying it all together with the new generation of heroes, and in the end you see that with his involvement, the going gets more than just tough, and if the plan fails, it will be the end of everything. And while things sometimes work out too conveniently or quickly, or the main characters are helped out by chance (the Force), that's how it is in fairy tales sometimes, and Star Wars has been a fairy tale with princesses, knights, and swords for over forty years – and it saddens me that those who call themselves true fans, unlike me, have forgotten this beautiful fact. Fortunately, the dreamer J. J. Abrams has a noticeably better memory. (23/12/2019)

The 4 billion acquisition must be great, but it's also the most expensive funeral in history for a pop culture icon who, in his eagerness to please everyone, has stagnated in place, and is pathetically floundering in the shit that zero dramaturgy and auteurist belligerence got him into. When I looked at my watch after an hour, the question of whether something was about to happen was inevitable. And then the floodgates of pathos, platitudes, and the easiest solutions were raised, where someone should have hit the table at the writing stage and shouted that nobody could take such a shit seriously. Instead, it ended up on the screen. Johnson may have disrespected the canon and boldly relativized all that this religion entails. Abrams respects nothing and the result is a ridiculous nothingness that lacks good characters and cool moments, making it look like a generic Marvel movie - obviously expensive, colorful, frilly - but lacking passion and any iconic monument for future generations. Burn in hell, Disney, and all of you who have anything to do with it! (19/12/2019)