Hellboy

In some aspects, Hellboy has pretty decent balls. Unfortunately, not even the exploited to the marrow R-rating and the good jokes here and there can alter the fact that it looks uglier than shit. Really, it’s been a long time since I last saw an audiovisual work that looked so terribly unaesthetic. An awful, overelaborated digital mess; the cancer of modern filmmaking and, in this case, in the terminal stage. (11/04/2019)

The new Hellboy flopped at the box office and with critics, and I'm not too happy either. Neil Marshall may have made the solid The Descent and the perfect post-apocalyptic B-movie Doomsday, but Hellboy won't rank among the highlights of his career. There's no story, which is to be expected, but the weird nonsensical jumping from scene to scene felt annoying to the point of artificiality. David Harbour isn't downright bad, but the humour is so dry that I didn't laugh once, which I take as a huge minus. When it comes to the action, it's pretty good to watch, it's very substantial in terms of gore – I can't remember the last time I saw such carnage in the cinema – but it's a great shame things usually end up when they are at their best. Praise should be given to the scene with the giants (which could have been longer), Baba Yaga who had eerily perfect make up, and the finale, which is again too short and doesn't live up to its full potential. It's a shame that outside of the action, the film is rather boring and has nothing to surprise and impress. Thanks to the decent serving of gore and a fair amount of monsters of all kinds, the film is watchable, but I was expecting a more entertaining ride. 60% (14/04/2019)

Though it stays closer to the source material, it is still not a good adaptation. It does not automatically create a film for fans when you combine multiple plotlines from multiple comic books, and I would give anything to have seen Guillermo del Toro's planned conclusion to the trilogy instead of this cluttered outcome. Even though Daniel Dae Kim is appropriately cast as Hellboy in this world of blood, betrayal, and endless fighting, excessive cheesiness or intentional B-movie qualities are not an advantage in this case, but instead a painful burden. From the very beginning, the screenplay relies on necessary shortcuts, thus undermining itself right from the start when it launches three storylines simultaneously and fails to completely extricate itself from this unfavorable starting position until the end. It is a shame about the strangely artificial masks and occasionally bizarre special effects, which often border on the ridiculous. And last but not least, there is the disgraceful and increasingly common posture of using not only blood but also profanity at any cost to achieve a stricter rating. In the second half, it became so childish that I almost grimaced, even though I am always in favor of boldly subverting an overly tense atmosphere. I feel sad about the resulting dead end, as Hellboy: Rise of the Blood Queen could and should have been an example of how to navigate the path of slightly smaller adaptations of famous comics, instead of closing the door on many potential wonders. (06/07/2019)

Harbour’s good, with all the right catchphrases. The gigantic outcasts from hell in the climax might be the most impressive ever. The casting of Milla Jovovich appropriately defines the target audience composed of fans of bloody, B-level monster freak-shows. Neil Marshall’s imagination knows no bounds, nor does his courage (or lack of common sense?) to flush such a huge budget down the drain. His Hellboy amuses with its stupidity, excess and craziness, but watching it in a cinema seemed extremely out of place, even bizarre. With the right crew at home, beer and popcorn, I might be inclined to give it three stars. (17/04/2019)

Having a 50 million-dollar full-length feature written by a debutant screenwriter with no experience in feature-lenght films, and assuming that it will then "somehow" work under the direction of a slasher B-movie director from England, is a really ignorant overestimation. It is therefore fair for the producers that the movie flopped. Although it seems there must have been a serious endeavor to please the comic book’s fans, Cosby's screenplay for this two-hour-long movie just does not work at all, and it appears to be an overpriced and incoherent dud, where the shallow characters have no chemistry between them, and so we cannot feel any sort of emotions from them. Also, their motivations are either completely shallow or straight up just completely random. Hellboy comes across like a computer game, where you are constantly jumping from one location to another, finding a key that will move you on to the next level, in a superficial (and seemingly unnecessary) plot. With all that being said, this movie is a really disgustingly big pile of CGI excrement. However, when I put aside even the most basic expectations I have from any movie (in other words, I switch off my brain), I absolutely did not enjoy this in any way. Actually, after those two hours, I could not figure out how this appalling failure of a movie was supposed to hold my attention. (17/09/2019)