Gods of Egypt

When I was thinking about how I should review this movie, I looked at the reviews of the newish Clash of the Titans, to which I gave four stars back then. But then I realized that one star was given to Gemma Arterton, who showed off in any way possible. Here, there were not enough chicks for my eyeballs. There were some, but nothing that would dazzle you. On the other hand, it is exactly what you might imagine. Only with the difference that Alex Proyas is not low-grade, and so he turned Gods of Egypt not only into a fantasy, but at times into a sci-fi. And I have to say that I didn’t mind. A pleasant and pretty movie wind down that is story-wise crazier by the minute. And that’s good. Because you don’t know beforehand what you will get. (25/05/2016)

I expected hell, I got a passable average. The 140 million budget is evident in the film, the production design is really lavish and the whole thing looks much more interesting and atmospheric than in the trailers, unfortunately the visual effects are still crap. It's also nice to note that Gods of Egypt is ultimately more of a fairy tale than gritty and serious-looking fantasy, so some naivety and occasional illogic can be forgiven. The story moves surprisingly fast not only because every now and then the setting changes or a new and usually well-done monster appears, but also because of the likeable characters and, within reason, good actors. Gerard Butler's villain is fine, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is even better as a good god who needs to grow up a bit, and there are some very nice actresses milling around. So I'm not ashamed to say I had a pretty good time. I won't say it's a good film, but it serves as a spectacular cinema washout without any problems. (15/05/2017)

I didn’t have high hopes for this film, but it surprised me by not being as bad as I expected. It was a cross between Prince of Persia and Ancient Egyptian Transformers. Gerard Butler and Kingslayer were excellent, and I even had a few laughs. I wasn't exactly blown away by it, but I was having fun the whole time, so a 3+. (24/08/2016)

Digital Hollywood effects do nothing for me, really. But this tasteless piece of screenwriting offers basically nothing apart from that. I'm actually not surprised that the traditionally bad Gerard Butler is prancing about here. Geoffrey Rush, however, should have spared us his participation in this soulless project. (25%) (12/08/2022)

How to commit commercial suicide. 1) Choose a theme that will be of interest to a few Igor Chauna fans, 2) have the screenplay written by the guys who ruined Dracula and let Vin Diesel hunt witches, 3) fill it with wooden actors and write absurd lines for those who are not wooden, and, just to make sure, dress them up in potato bags, 4) summon a director who dissolves the budget into a show of incredibly over-embellished digital sets where almost no camera movement feels natural. The rest will take care of itself. After an hour, I stopped having fun laughing at the hellish naivety, which had lost all of its charm. Even the parade of tanned busts and whitewashed Egyptian deities did not make it anymore merciful. The most absurd blockbuster of 2016, without a doubt. (20/01/2017)