Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

To be honest, I'm quite glad I'm over it. The second Jurassic World isn't a bad movie, but I kind of automatically expect a $170 million blockbuster to look good, show off enough attractions to keep me from getting bored, and feature a capable cast. It's all there, but I refuse to take those as positives that would put the film above average. That's just what I expect in a film like this. Trouble is, the second Jurassic World offers nothing but these "obligatory" props. The spectacular action on Isla Nublar is truly epic, but perfectly cold. You know when we're halfway through that none of the protagonists can come to harm, and I really wasn't worried about the bland "geek and badass scientist" side characters. Plus, halfway through, they flip the switch and start pretending to be a variation on Alien. Unfortunately, with a PG-13 rating, an uninteresting monster (compared to what Indominus Rex did last time, this one is really ridiculous), and the same boring characters. The craftsmanship and qualities that can be had on a blockbuster budget are there. But if I were to say I'd want to watch a scene from the second Jurassic World again, I'd be bullshitting. (27/07/2018)

When you write something so perfectly stupid, you do it either out of incompetence or with creative intent. I give precedence to the second option because Bayona knows where his horror roots lie and thus deftly guides the camera and the special effects, and the actors declaiming like hell and notching clichés into the seat in front of you will stop entertaining you after an hour. However, the slight genre detour with the slamming of the ferry doors works in its favor, and while there are no surprises, it is at times as suspenseful and bloody as its rating will allow. The rain ropes have been passé for a while now, and I would have left 20 minutes on the cutting room floor, but the feeling of a high-octane ride where both lava bombing and sneaking around in the dark work, and which still finishes decently enough a couple of hours after leaving the movie theater, eventually washes it away. (27/06/2018)

In its magnificent moments, this is a tremendous experience, and in the surprisingly intimate finale, a flawless combination of an homage to the classic Jurassic Park while at the same time rectifying everything that did not work at the time in Jurassic Park: The Lost World. This seemingly impossible combination ultimately results in the second-best installment of the entire saga, confidently stepping towards a trilogy and solidifying Chris Pratt's position as the darling of the masses. 90% (10/08/2018)

I'm sorry to say that the magic of the previous film (not to mention Spielberg's original) isn't repeated this time. The dinosaurs are great and often enter the scene in a fully horror way, although the strange script makes some of them unadulterated action heroes and because of it, the film definitely has the worst (lamest) finale of the entire series. Chris Pratt is fine, but this time he's a superman rather than the cheeky sympathetic Owen from Jurassic World, the character played by Bryce Dallas Howard has almost nothing to say at all, and (except perhaps for Ted Levine) I probably won't even remember any of the villains... And I consider Jeff Goldblum's bark to be the greatest betrayal. It’s too bad, because the second Jurassic World looks really great, has some really good scenes (the one with the Brachiosaur standing on its hind legs is 100% moving) and thanks to the bombastic music by Michael Giacchino it also sounds great, but the result is quite similar to Jurassic Park III. (20/06/2018)

As a matter of fact, the little children were those who enjoyed it the most in the cinema. And they are probably the only viewers who appreciate the film. First and foremost, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a lazily written story. The screenplay is blatantly gearing towards a third part, which heavily conditions the plot and as a result, on many occasions, it is downright stupid. At one point, there is a sudden digression about some sort of family drama related to clones, which is supposed to act as a moral justification for the fatal behaviour of one of the characters at the end. However, it does not work at all and turns out as utterly useless nonsense. In another part of the film, we learn that surviving a volcanic eruption first-hand is even easier than surviving a nuclear explosion, provided that you hide inside a fridge (wink wink). The most recently made dinosaur designed for military purposes is said to have a highly developed sense of smell, but when chasing the main characters, it doesn’t really seem so. Anytime anyone’s life is seriously threatened, he or she is always saved by a last-minute intervention (preferably by a T-Rex or a raptor, even though these two species had caused the highest number of deaths in the previous films). Basically, whenever the screenwriters came up with something that proved handy, logic was put aside. There is no suspense whatsoever. The promises of horror tendencies remain unfulfilled. The weakest aspect of the whole flick is to be found in its slanted unsubtle characters. There are the ‘bad’ ones and the ‘good’ ones. Nothing in between. The bad ones die, the good ones survive. Nobody surprises us. Some characters suddenly disappear from the story while others are completely useless throughout the film (like the embarrassingly unfunny neurotic IT geek). This is definitely not enough to satisfy me anymore. (21/06/2018)