Necrotongue

Let's be honest, this wasn't a horror, but I didn't care because it worked great as a mysterious drama. I first noticed Michelle Monaghan years ago in the movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. As far as I'm concerned, time hasn't treated her badly at all. The cute little curly rascal annoyed me even before his hairy friend returned, but I loved Skylar Morgan Jones as his sister. However, the sprinter and notorious escape artist Helen completely won me over and made me laugh despite all the tragedy. With horror films, I always prepare myself for disappointment in advance. It didn't happen in this case, but as I already explained, I didn't even think of this as a horror. I appreciate the creators putting together a fairly decent story with a good atmosphere, without stupid jump scares. Instead, they focused more on psychological aspects. So, yeah, it was a pleasant surprise. / Lesson learned: Beware of ungrateful dying people!

When I saw The Matrix for the first time over twenty years ago, I was absolutely blown away. It was original, great, and blew my mind. I feel that the creators of this film were going for the same thing, and the academics bought it. I'm more reserved because I was bored by this blend of The Matrix and Doctor Strange, and I did not understand why I had to suffer for over two hours just to find out that truth and love win over lies and hatred. The academics were apparently impressed by the effects and some kung fu action, but I was disappointed by the overall uninteresting story, elements borrowed from other movies (I mean, I've even seen a dildo used as a weapon in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels), and I seriously did not enjoy watching the main antagonist, for whom it was definitely not her first bagel. The muscular pinky and stones were hilarious, but the anal plugs were a disappointment, and overall, it was nothing special. / Lesson learned: When choosing a movie, don't rely on the Academy.

This movie had everything I expect from a lousy B-movie: New Year's, a loving family, an airplane, bad weather, a dangerous passenger, and (although I hate to say this) Gerard Butler. My surprise was even greater (and more pleasant) when I realized that the creators took a completely different path than I expected and showed me that an action film can be made from clichéd ingredients that I will find captivating and hilarious despite my skepticism. Although I have some reservations about the takeoffs and landings of jet transport aircraft on unpaved surfaces, this combination of Black Hawk Down and Far Cry 3 had an uncomplicated plot and decent action. The creators had enough sense not to let the gentleman of a certain age (but still fit) run around the jungle alone and gave him a quality partner. I'm not saying it was the best movie of all time, but I enjoyed it. Gerard Butler and Mike Colter worked together brilliantly. Daniella Pineda was an excellent lead stewardess, so I had no reason to go below four stars. It was undemanding but entertaining (at least for me). / Lesson learned: The movie shows that it's possible to take off in an airplane and land on a scooter.

I tend to like conversational comedies based on plays, and this one was no exception. True, it was clear to me how it would end very early, but surprisingly, it didn't spoil the final impression. Credit goes to the creators for the casting and excellently written dialogues. Lately, I've been focusing on old films, and I realized that the level of dialogue (or monologues) in them vastly differs from most contemporary ones. This is why I enjoyed the conversation of all the characters present. I loved how a relatively simple lie grew into a huge mess, and it was no longer clear who was whose sister, wife, mother, aunt, husband, father, lover, doctor, diplomat, or CIA agent. Not that I want to brag, but I could keep up with everything. / "I love you. My wife and I... I never even knew her." "How did the three children come? United Parcel?" "Well, at the beginning, I was polite." / "Alright, tell me what she didn't say. Word for word." / Lesson learned: When a lie has no legs, there are always crutches.

What a strange movie. At times, I felt like I should be bored (but I wasn't), at times, I felt like I should hate all the characters (but the opposite was true), and I also had the feeling that I should complain about the overly long running time. Still, considering the periods the creators took me through, I appreciate that the whole thing had a relatively moderate two-hour running time. Given the direction the story was going, I was expecting a manipulative play on emotions underscored by sentimental melodies, but then I realized that the movie was made in a different time. Even in the most agonizing moments, the characters didn't just recite clichéd empty phrases. The screenwriter continued to supply them with meaningful lines. Shirley MacLaine was great again; Jack Nicholson balanced between sleazy and demonic (and I won't forget his ultra-short robe anytime soon). All the performances were outstanding. I had one major problem with the story; mainly in the first third, it seemed somewhat chaotic and messy, but it improved over time. / "A few years back, you invited me to lunch. I wondered if the invitation still exists." / "I like the lights on." "Then go home and turn them on." / Lesson learned: The worst thing I have experienced in my life so far was displays of sympathy. Be it genuine or fake.

Drama / Comedy / Romance - I never expect to have fun when I see this combination of genres. Apparently, life still has some surprises up its sleeve for me. I enjoyed the story of a decent, conscientious office worker/love hotel manager. I didn't laugh so hard I cried, but it was an excellent drama that occasionally made me smile. The story was based on a clichéd (but still relevant) relationship between a young woman and an "unhappily" married man, but C.C. Baxter, played by Jack Lemmon, gave this predictable movie a whole other level. I was thrilled to watch every unintentionally cruel sentence uttered by Fran Kubelik tear the heartbroken lover to pieces. He always managed to collect himself, only to be dying in agonizing pain shortly after. Jack Lemmon was perfect, Shirley MacLaine was wonderful and charming, and the movie had much more to offer than it promised, leaving me in a very peculiar mood. I was delighted, hence the five stars. / "Where'll we go? My place or yours?" "Might as well go to mine. Everybody else does." / Lesson learned: Committing suicide in someone else's apartment is extremely inconsiderate.

I can tell a good anti-war film by how it affects me. If the message doesn't hit me hard, it's just a waste of financial resources. The creators of this film didn't waste any, and the message hit hard. I could hardly find a better depiction of the senselessness of war. There is no doubt that soldiers essentially function as a group of armed tourists, and although there are capable and determined people among them, their leadership cancels them out. If the story didn't take place outdoors, it could have been considered a chamber film. However, the story was so intense that it easily beats many so-called blockbusters. / "Maybe you could get a close of them clearing the mine." / Lesson learned: There are situations you can't get out of, even if you tried so hard you shit yourself.

As a person interested in the Second World War (especially the Pacific), I critically scrutinize the technology, weapons, and uniforms used in films, so I couldn't possibly like this one. But I tried to ignore the amateur pedant-historian in me because I was in a good mood and knew it would be a comedy. I quite enjoyed the delightful British sneakiness of Big Bad Wolf and the genuine despair of the heavily pursued Mother Goose. Cary Grant played the exact same character as always (which definitely didn't bother me). Leslie Caron was also a suitable choice, and I somehow put up with those children. The overall impression would have been even better if the writing didn't leave a little to be desired. Even so, I had a great time and didn't feel like going below four stars. / Lesson learned: Don't go to a deserted island without a crate of whiskey and a beautiful French woman.

I was gradually drawn in. After meeting Auntie Galga, a people locator, I even considered giving it five stars. The film's highlight was the bathroom encounter with the one whose name corresponded to the name of the building, but from then on, the initially action-horror spectacle started going downhill. The whole plot started to resemble a failed farce, completely burying the well-built atmosphere and not only losing me but also two stars, which suddenly felt excessive. / Lesson learned: The idea with the pills was not very original. I've seen a much better version in The Russian Bride.

It makes me happy whenever a movie draws me in so perfectly that I forget it's just a movie. And this one did it extremely well. I know Brendan Fraser as more of a comedic actor, but he convinced me that he deserves an award for his performance here. I consider the Oscars highly politically influenced, but if it makes anyone happy, let it be Brendan Fraser. Fans of more action-packed spectacles might not enjoy this film, but I really immersed myself in the story and enjoyed watching the protagonist whose suicide was agonizingly slow, as well as all the secondary, undernourished characters. I really enjoyed the character of Liz, who was smaller in size but 10 feet tall at heart, and Sadie Sink as the bitchy Ellie. Despite being profound, the film did not dissolve into boring philosophizing about the transience of human life. On the contrary, the creators spiced it up with a pizza night that turned into an evening with Mr. Creosote, and I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't help but notice that the Heimlich maneuver has evolved, and I'm glad that there was space for occasional flashes of subtle humor. / "You say you're sorry one more time, I will shove a knife right into you, I swear to god!" "Go ahead, what's it gonna do? My internal organs are two feet in, at least." / Lesson learned: If you decide to commit suicide, be aware that some methods are time-consuming and financially demanding. 5*-