The Expendables

I hope someday they publish a collector’s edition on an over-played VHS videotape with the special Czech “speed-dubbing" and normal editing. Then and only then can these be considered to be the real McCoy action movies “like out of the eighties". But as it is half way between a pleasant movie playing at being nostalgic and real, unadulterated nostalgia (the church, the church!). But it has three main problems. Too much “Bournesque" editing, too little work with the personality cults of various testosterone legends (this happens only in scenes with Jet vs. Dolph and in the church) and of course the must fundamental problem - no Asia Argento, but instead (no) Charisma. (20/08/2010)

I was absolutely sure that I wouldn't like it, but from time to time one must endure mental torture in order to appreciate even more the movies that are truly worth watching. Half of the members of the cast I categorize as "My Least Favorite Nightmares," and some of them, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, I don't consider actors, but rather stereotypical figures, while others, like Sylvester Stallone, as below-average actors, and it is characteristic that if a quality action actor like Bruce Willis appears in something like this, they just briefly show up on the screen. The Expendables pay homage to violent action films from the 80s with muscle-bound heroes and these sorts of productions didn't make the slightest impression on me even at 15 years old, let alone today. Action productions that I appreciate include titles such as Indiana Jones, Die Hard, or the Bourne series, in general, movies that rely on a quality screenplay and top-notch acting. The Expendables is just as dim-witted as its genre predecessors and the scene of the contract negotiation in a church, which has humor, can't save it. For me, The Expendables is the same as a really strong cigar for a devoted non-smoker. Overall impression: 15%. (07/11/2010)

Arnold’s back... It worked! Stallone proved that a bunch of action legends won’t get in each other’s way, they can work together as a team in a movie about guys, for guys. The action is some top-notch, good, honest work that cost a lot of blood, sweat and broken bones, and the end result is totally worth it. The bombastic finale, the brawls and the brilliant old-style car chase. It’s beautiful. The cast is a whole other chapter of its own. THAT scene is milked to the last one-liner, every wink, every little jab is a sight to sore eyes for someone who was brought up on these old guys. Jason Statham has broken the jinx of co-starring fails with Jet Li. And Jet’s grumbling little squirt is such an impossibly nice guy, it’s incredible. Dolph Lundgren, one word – awesome. Ok, I’ll cut it short, but I must mention Eric Roberts who, if you don’t count the bad guy monolog, had almost exclusively snappy lines. And Tyler’s music rumbled away in all the right ways. A heartfelt matter. ...Arnold left. Now Sly’s here. Warning shot! (23/08/2010)

Satisfaction for me on all fronts. From the fighters’ hangout (admittedly, the church scene could have been a minute or two longer), to the witty banter and poking fun at themselves, to the sheer action-packed charge that always kicks in at the right moment. You could criticize it for all sorts of things, but the same also applies to classic nostalgic films. At times I felt like clapping loudly and shouting at the whole movie theater. Particularly the "fistfight" at the end was asking for it permanently. 4 1/2. I think I'll go see it again. Edit: I went again and the enthusiasm has lessened. I’m bothered a bit by the tediousness of the first half and the neglect of some of the team members (Couture, Crews). But from the moment Stallone breaks into the basement dungeon, it's one of the action highlights of (probably not only) the year. Regarding the fun factor, though, Joe Carnahan otherwise won... (26/08/2010)

The script was so stupid and leaky that even 80 of them couldn't carry it. The church scene was great though, no question about it. But afterwards? I'll quote Subjective: “shot, ‘pow’, shot, ‘bang’, shot, ‘smack’, shot, ‘left hook’, shot, ‘right hook’, shot, ‘tie’, shot ‘crane’. By the time I understood where the action was happening, I was already watching it from somewhere else." Most of the time I didn't care who was doing the shooting, or why (because the reasons were either nonexistent or stupid and pathetic), and because the shooting went on for most of the movie... I'll watch the second one, it's supposedly better; but I guess since I was looking forward to it so much, it ended up being very, very disappointing. A weak 2 stars. (24/05/2013)