Aquaman

An overwrought digital coloring book, and I almost want to write "literally" coloring book – looking at the CGI smoothed out faces almost made me throw up. This just shows the hypocrisy of some film critics who accused The Hobbit of CGI overkill (and ignored the fact that in many cases it was also handmade sets), and with Aquaman, which in terms of digital mess is two or three levels above, they are quiet in this respect. I didn’t feel it was alive, not even once. Not even a comic book feel, because even the worst DC comics have more life and multi-dimensional characters than Wan's boring one-dimensional archetypes. Boring, sterile like Znojmo’s pickles. (13/04/2019)

Aquaman can't be denied one thing, it is truly monumental. James Wan sends countless creatures, monsters and strange beings to the screen, or at least actors in really crazy costumes. Is it overstuffed? Yes, but on the other hand, the magnificence is really impressive and on top of that, every single underwater creature was really elaborate. Something this gigantic and epic hasn't been done since Avatar. And when it starts moving or fighting, it looks great on screen. Unfortunately though, Aquaman has two quite possibly the worst Hollywood actors in the lead role and that's where it grinds. Wan does manage to restrain Jason Momoa and Amber Heard, giving them minimal room to act and mostly just doing what they're good at (looking good), but as soon as the film attempts romance, humour, or pathos, it doesn't work due to their ineptitude. Fortunately, it's not that often. In fact, I was also initially bothered by the rather chaotic narrative structure, where they jump from the present to the past so that the origin story can somehow be caught up quickly and what would otherwise be worthy of a standalone film is crammed into two scenes. And unfortunately, the level of stupidity also occasionally crosses the line. Still, I'll happily sign off that this is the best DC Comic film and if I were twelve, I'd want to sign up for a diving club. On the other hand, I'd rather watch four out of five Marvel movies than this one, because there's still the problem that previous Warner comic-book adaptations have struggled with: it takes itself too seriously for the crap it is. And yet, right here, during the scenes where Amber Heard is floating on a killer whale and shooting water lasers out of her hands, it really needed that bit of levity. (14/12/2018)

Aquaman is a lot of things (suddenly and gradually). The origin story telling about the birth of the protagonist and the history of a nation, maternal melodrama turned upside down (from the perspective of the offspring, not the mother), an underwater Flash Gordon, a buddy movie (serving as the basis of an insipid romance), a fairy tale about two brothers, of whom only one can be king, a film in whose climactic scene the protagonists mounts a seahorse and his partner a killer whale ... ___ In purely structural terms, it holds together (thanks to a superfluous storyline with a vengeful pirate that motivates the hero’s transformation and forms the foundation for a sequel) and works rhythmically, but the tone changes every ten minutes (making Aquaman unintentionally reminiscent of South Korean multi-genre films) and the narrative is constantly helped along by the same processes (the dry “humanising” one-liners with which the protagonist responds to epic moments, shifting of the story with unexpected attacks by “water” soldiers). ___ My other reservations are rather problems that I personally have with the film – Jason Momoa does not come across as sexy to me and I am disgusted by the solving of problems with brute force, which he represents; Mera has to deal with most of the story in a scaly latex jumpsuit with a plunging neckline, and she acts competently mainly due to the fact that Aquaman is terrible by her side; the most reasonable actions are those of the villain who wants to start a war with humans because they pollute the oceans with their waste. ___ Visually and musically, Aquaman is great in places (it reminded me of Avatar, Blade Runner and Luc Besson’s better films; experts in old comic books may spot inspiration from other sources), and at least one action scene (Sicily) does not look like a noisy CGI clusterfuck, even if it steals from The Adventures of Tintin, The Bourne Supremacy, the second Captain America and scrolling video games. ___ As a guilty pleasure with overwrought ambitions (and a ginger Dolph Lundgren and sharks with laser cannons and Willem Dafoe, who plays a vizier named Vulko), it can be enjoyed without major pain. 65% (13/12/2018)

An unexpected surprise before the end of the year and James Wan confirmed that he can make anything. Aquaman, according to the trailers, looked like a marine digital mess, but in the end I got a visual orgy and I'm not afraid to say it’s Avatar underwater. Jason Momoa may not be a good actor, but he's good to watch and in fact I can't imagine anyone else in the role, Amber Heard's as his red wet colleague with her alluring cleavage will give many a man an erection in the cinema and I definitely have to praise the supporting cast of familiar faces featuring Nicole Kidman, the bad guy Patrick Wilson, Willem Dafoe and Dolph Lundgren. The film is incredible from start to finish, the action is loaded, spectacular, there are even contact fights, and the finale is so monstrous that it puts Godzilla and Pacific Rim to shame. In one scene, Wan even serves up a dense horror atmosphere with sea creatures reminiscent of Alien, and it really tugs at the heartstrings. The only thing that didn't work too well for me was the humour, but that can be forgiven. A visually impressive underwater adventure that hasn't been seen before and needs to be seen in the cinema! 90% (23/12/2018)

A dull coloring book from DC that more than anything resembles the sterile world of Marvel with a host of good-hearted heroes and bad guys who oddly enough want to destroy or dominate the world. Plus points for the fact that this time it takes place underwater, thumbs up for the sound engineers and effects guys, who really went all out on the underwater cities, and Jason Momoa is cool and knows how to rock, something we've known for a while now. The story, though, it’s about nothing. (19/03/2019)