The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

The most concise and balanced film of the whole trilogy, which did not dispel any of my doubts that accompanied me through The Hobbit. Despite all the convulsive emphasis on being epic, the trilogy is unfortunately very flat, it lacks truly interesting, structured characters (in fact, the only one who goes through any dramatic change besides Bilbo is Thorin), the supplied storylines are horribly shallow and the three films did not add depth, but rather amusement park-like, uncritically long action scenes. The Battle of the Five Armies itself surprises, because even after Gondor and Helm's Deep, PJ was able to create fresh, well-arranged and choreographically imaginative giant scenes (an army of dwarves and a redheaded janitor Willy on a giant pig are among the last few things I wanted to see in my life). Unfortunately, from the moment the giant chamoises unexpectedly appear on the screen, we move from epic to the pre-planned Tolkien arcade, a soft version of Mortal Kombat stuffed with a ton of clichés and WTF scenes (Legolas and his gravity can no longer even entertain Peter). The poetic magic of silence and pipe cleaning, which Gandalf does at the very end, is thus quite unique in the trilogy of sin. In fact, I'm most interested in digital blushes and the obsession of creators to put epic emphasis on almost every scene, so in the end almost everything seems like a wooden theater - moreover, the script is a bit weaker than the brilliant "Who am I, Gamling?" monologue of King Théoden. The Hobbit works as teaser for The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and I can imagine that my child will be ecstatic about it in a few years. When he grows up, he will certainly agree with me that the original trio of films remains are unmatched in their greater muteness and higher cinematic agility. Or I’ll beat his ass. (11/12/2014)

Roads go ever ever on, under cloud and under star; yet feet that wandering have gone turn at last to home afar. For some, it's a barrage of computer tricks, for others, a pleasant adventurous ride, for still others, it's a meaningless war massacre with no added value. And for me, it's a fairytale preceding The Lord of the Rings, creating one big unforgettable narrative. Peter Jackson is still like Peter Pan so many years after The Fellowship of the Ring. Like a boy who stayed in his own Middle-earth and refuses to grow up. And it's only thanks to him that Bilbo seems like a good friend, Gandalf the wisest mentor, and Thorin as the true main character, with whom it's worth experiencing every sword stroke or chilling breath. And in the cave, in Esgaroth, on the battlefield, in the mountains, and in the Shire, I discovered again and again that their world is also mine and not only were my expectations fulfilled, but they were also easily surpassed. Today, two trilogies have finally created a separate hexalogy, and I want to stay in it forever. So once again... In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. (26/12/2014)

I’m probably most disappointed about the shoddy battle with the dragon. Not that it doesn’t look good, but the unfortunate placing it in the intro steals its oomph and it’s too short. The battle of five armies which take up the longest sequences is of course technically sophisticated, in places even better than the Lord of the Rings, but is unnecessary long and fundamentally unimportant in itself. I didn’t have that feeling of inevitability. The best sequences are the humble chats between Bilbo and Thorin which gives some sense to the whole of part three. Part three suffers the most from being separated. It doesn’t work on its own and pointless things (like the vice mayor’s demented remarks) obscure what’s important (what happened to Bard after the battle?!). The sad farewell to the Middle-earth disappoints with its sloppiness. (29/12/2014)

This is how I imagine the fulfillment of the phrase "digital plague." Peter Jackson is diligently stealing from himself and showing that in the name of financial gain, he is capable of sinking low. The first Hobbit film already showed all his weaknesses by padding the plot with filler, and the inability to lead the storyline meaningfully, and the third film just tops it all off. Those who like attractions will enjoy the films but towards the end, I only felt resignation and disgust. Overall impression: 40%. I don't know how Tolkien would react to The Lord of the Rings films, but this piece of crap would surely hurt him... (13/05/2017)