Fifty Shades Darker

One of the few films where nothing actually happens in its two hours of running time and it's a slightly overwrought advertisement for Jamie Dornan's muscles, his penthouse and his swaggering businessman role. All this is much more entertaining than a kind of pseudo plot or bickering in bed, without any eroticism as everything is basically just for effect and fake. One of the emptiest and most pointless sequels in the history of A-list Hollywood production. (12/04/2017)

It starts out as an alright soft porn flick for the ladies, with an almost nonexistent storyline that is only there to hold together all the hot and sweaty scenes, which appear about every 15 minutes. That would make it a two-star movie, or maybe even a three-star if you haven’t had a proper orgasm in a while. And then the plot thickens and the movie starts to aspire to look like a serious drama, resulting in fits of uncontrolled laughter of even the ladies in the audience. It’s really much worse than you’d expect, a lot worse than the first installment. It’s so bad it is basically unrivalled in the cinemas. (07/02/2017)

This is entertainment - a film that has resigned itself to everything. The reading of it presents only a fairy tale story of a love relationship. Why have any plots, supporting characters, or anything else? There’s no need. She went back to him and that has to be enough :D I was kind of hoping something more interesting would come out of Kim Basinger's presence, given that she is the queen of 9½ Weeks after all. But...nah ;) (22/05/2021)

The title should be 117 minutes of boredom. The only thing worth looking at is Dornan's body, and even that doesn't save the film. I would like to see Dakota Johnson in a deeper role, I enjoy her acting, it's so casual and natural. I don’t mind watching something undemanding every now and again, but this was about nothing. The first episode was a star more entertaining... (21/04/2017)

Probably the only sequel of a successful movie that perfectly transformed the proven rule of "more of everything" into "less of everything". The characters are templates, the dialogues are random clusters of words, the eroticism has one new idea for every ten routine numbers. If Jamie Dornan weren't obviously suffering from his presence in the skin of Mr. Grey, even I wouldn't forgive putting up with the laziest script far and wide. (27/05/2017)