Fifty Shades Darker

It starts out as an alright soft porn flick for the ladies, with an almost nonexistent storyline that is only there to hold together all the hot and sweaty scenes, which appear about every 15 minutes. That would make it a two-star movie, or maybe even a three-star if you haven’t had a proper orgasm in a while. And then the plot thickens and the movie starts to aspire to look like a serious drama, resulting in fits of uncontrolled laughter of even the ladies in the audience. It’s really much worse than you’d expect, a lot worse than the first installment. It’s so bad it is basically unrivalled in the cinemas. (07/02/2017)

I can't help it, but I've somehow stopped enjoying admiring Jamie Dornan's perfect body and listening to the good soundtrack. It would also need to develop the story a bit more, which underwent almost no changes compared to Fifty Shades of Grey. I was really bored this time. And one more little thing... I searched in vain for the darkness mentioned in the title of the film. (45%) (17/10/2021)

The title should be 117 minutes of boredom. The only thing worth looking at is Dornan's body, and even that doesn't save the film. I would like to see Dakota Johnson in a deeper role, I enjoy her acting, it's so casual and natural. I don’t mind watching something undemanding every now and again, but this was about nothing. The first episode was a star more entertaining... (21/04/2017)

One of the few films where nothing actually happens in its two hours of running time and it's a slightly overwrought advertisement for Jamie Dornan's muscles, his penthouse and his swaggering businessman role. All this is much more entertaining than a kind of pseudo plot or bickering in bed, without any eroticism as everything is basically just for effect and fake. One of the emptiest and most pointless sequels in the history of A-list Hollywood production. (12/04/2017)

It's the same as the first one. Simply a bad movie that you expect to be at least sexy, but it's not. Dakota is sexy in one single scene, otherwise she's incredibly awkward and I'm surprised she enjoyed playing this. Jamie is fine, but his character goes to shit, not to mention that he doesn't give a damn about the bullshit they're saying. And is there something rougher here? No chance. (10/04/2017)