Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw

A loud, overblown and clunky action film with a digital finale and a director who can’t handle a blockbuster. It's a wonder that the action doesn't really stomp much, because for example Atomic Blonde may have had a script that was too convoluted and made it stumble in the last stretch, but what made it stand out was the climactic action. The potential here was endless, they had a two-metre mountain of muscle and and a chiseled bloke, master of all martial arts. So, what happened with Leitch’s typical signature is a big mystery. Idris Elba was far more interesting, but his character, unfortunately, had a flat trajectory. Kirby was OK. At the beginning things still look decent, the car chase in London was very good, but things get weaker in the East, and the Samoa action definitely buries it. It will probably find its fan base, despite the lack of Vin Diesel, the franchise's main draw, and I'd much rather watch the twenty-fifth episode, where all the key characters are together. (04/08/2019)

Hollywood finally reached the level of Hong Kong, though only in the category of action comedies with a freely episodic screenplay. So, there will be variety-show cameos and a screenplay created through brainstorming and jumping across genres without structure. Except it is a shame that instead of real action attractions, we only have video game-style CGI mirages. The question remains as to whether the filmmakers should be cursed for engaging in futility according to western norms, or if we should praise them for creating a perfect product for the Chinese market, where precisely this sort of thing has the greatest success. Nevertheless, it is commendable that the producers finally cut out the weakest and most laughable part of the whole franchise, i.e. Vin Diesel, though the blather about family remained, only this time it is interspersed with more sequences of boring dick-measuring contests that do not have the slightest spark of real homoerotic tension. But perhaps David Leitch made enough money with this job to be able to shoot something proper again someday. (01/05/2020)

An Extremely entertaining, action-packed, nitro-boosted joyride. The B-movie plot interspersed with over-the top-action scenes, with a designer virus and a lone bad guy who values nothing more than good old friendship and family, is no surprise in this franchise. Diesel style. Leitch is aware of that this is essentially a B-movie, so he grabs it by the udders and milks its absurdities for all they're worth. Statham and Johnson’s well-honed one-liners are like something straight out of the '80s. The kinetic and clear-cut action pays respect to the old school, even though it’s upgraded like Idris Elba, who played a black Superman with unbelievable verve. The time flies by as we are taken to great locations and the cameos are the icing on the cake. Vanessa Kirby has style and at the end the whole thing cries out loud for a sequel. And I say yes to that. ... it melts their guts. She’s already nine years old, she’s ready to hear things like that. (31/07/2019)

Is it just me that feels like A-list popcorn cinema is getting more and more dimwitted? Kudos to the exceptions, like Christopher Nolan, who have set the bar high and are not about to lower it. At the opposite pole is this horrible trainwreck, like written by five-year old boys, starting with the futile humour, zero chemistry between the main actors, ending with the five thousandth or so variation on a stolen planet-wide deadly virus (again?) and an upgraded human terminator who has wandered in from another genre – some sci-fi Asylum production. And, to top it all off, an indulgent, smiling Ryan Reynolds and with him, the stupid Kevin Hart. Nobody laughed in the whole cinema, nobody, even though the filmmakers were smashing their jokes on your face like stinking socks and screaming at you: “Laugh! This is funny!!!” Well, sorry, scriptwriting impotents, I didn’t have any fun. (07/08/2019)

The two greatest guilty-pleasure icons of today comparing the size of various body parts in a wisecrack-packed action flick from the director of John Wick and Deadpool and… it’s not fun? Before the screening, I obediently performed the process of brain paralysis, which let me have a lot of fun with some of the action scenes (the helicopter one at the end is awesome, really), but the rest runs somehow on fumes. Save for a couple of exceptions, the humour is very forced and it’s soon clear that these two brutes are better together in secondary roles, where they can sneer at each other for ten minutes and then give way to some proper jokes. The story, on the other hand, it’s low-brow junk salvaged from a couple of decades ago that goes by fast and brings some welcome diversity with Vanessa Kirby, but after so many Fast and Furious, the viewer has lost their naivete and won’t be very impressed by a black superman unable to destroy a semi-nude rugby team with a javelin. I looked forward to it, but the market saturation with similar nonsense and the lack of creativity frustrated my experience. (14/09/2019)